I've softened a bit too. I now treat religion like hairstyles or choice of clothing. As long as the person is decent, they can believe whatever nonsense they like. We all have, to some extent or another, irrational beliefs, so a bit of common ground exists between atheists and believers. On a personal level, when I get to know someone who believes, I usually end up discussing my lack of belief, noting that I think religion is essentially a fairy tale, something I gave up when I was very young, etc. I try to challenge them somewhat, quoting the story of God sending out a she-bear to maul children just because they teased Elisha (II Kings, I believe), but I ultimately end up with conciliatory nods to some of Jesus's rants against the rich, and the heroism of some of the Jesuit priests in Central America. This usually helps to let them know where I stand, and how I judge people. You can't ask for much more than that, I don't think.
Bill