Fw: Flexible Work & Parenting (Was Re: Gender, Race,and Publishing on the Left)

Bill Cochrane billc at waikato.ac.nz
Sun Jun 21 13:17:29 PDT 1998

nick writes , denying the stronger bond that exists
>between a mother and a young child is ludicrous. have you ever listened to
>a baby that doesn't stop crying until the mother holds it? that isn't just
>because the mother is spending more time with the baby as a result of social
>constructs - that baby wants the person with whom it is most connected. and
>the mother - does she not feel a bit more connected to a child than a
>father? does shared pain not create the deepest bonds?

Let me be ludicrous then, following the birth of our second child my partner had a major psychotic breakdown that took about a year to largely resolve. During this time I had sole care of both children. The youngest child bonded almost exclusively with me and it has taken some 12 months for the mother child bond to be reforged. I would suggest that children bond with who ever provides their practical every day emotional and physical care, be it mother/father or a passing aardvark. As an aside I view as one of the greater tragedies of the social organisation of work under our variant of capitalism that so many men are largely alienated from their children (and would be unsurprised if this didn't account for a number of men's psychological problems).

Cheers Bill Cochrane

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