a ditty

Doug Henwood dhenwood at panix.com
Mon Apr 19 09:31:23 PDT 1999


[Colonel Sawicky sent this from his non-subscribed address.]

From: "Max B. Sawicky" <maxsaw at cpcug.org> Subject: Cyber Song Date: Mon, 19 Apr 1999 10:12:30 -0400

Courtesy of David McReynolds.

Pretty impressive rhyme and meter.

mbs

| THE MODERN CYBER-CITIZEN'S SONG. By Marcus Bales.

|

| I am the very model of a modern cyber-netizen

| All logic I dispense with, and all taste and manners jettison;

| I'm found on TV, radio, and many other "medias"

| But cyberspace is where I'm most particularly tedious.

| I come in every stripe from the conservative to radical

| And know it all except for how to spell or be grammatical.

| I haven't got a clue about the use of logicality

| And drivel on with made-up-factoid bargain-bin banality.

| I flame opponents hairless from a dozen different pseudonyms,

| Each one a ruder, lewder pun on Anglo-Saxon crudonyms,

| And where I find civility and hot debate have been at ease

| I break it up with spamming, flaming, scrolling and obscenities.

| I'm ignorant in every field, poetic to statistical,

| Which only makes my points of view more thoroughly sophistical;

| My attitude's aggressive and my tone is sanctimonious,

| My facts are bad, conclusions wrong, and arguments erroneous;

| My posts are pure unparagraphed expressions of my vanity,

| Impossible to parse except perhaps for the profanity.

| I'm known for disputatiousness and other sorts of knavery

| From purposeful mendacity to things yet more unsavory.

| The places civil reason is accounted most iniquitous

| Are places where you'll find me inescapably ubiquitous.

| In short, all logic I reject, all taste and manners jettison

| Because I am the model of a modern cyber-netizen!

>>



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