>By Toby Young
that just pushes my buttons. He used to write an insanely annoying column in the Standard about his life in New York working for Vanity Fair (since sacked), which basically consisteed of telling his adoring readers time and again how he had once more not been let into the fashionable party of the week because the "clipboard Nazi" (somewhat repugnant phrase) "didn't think I was famous enough." I was actually moved to write a letter to the editor pointing out that he indeed, wasn't famous enough. He also has previous form with the dreaded Burchill.
What a priceless collection of gems, I mean:
<<To those accustomed to working for Tina, the
long hours Talk's staff had to put in came
as no surprise. "I remember that for one
stretch of four months I was never home
before the end of the eleven o'clock news,">>
ahh f'kng diddums. After starting at ten in the morning no doubt.
<<"As recently as two weeks before closing
they hadn't decided what was going to be in
the magazine.">>
Congratulations Sherlock. We get some idea of how much this writer might understand about a news magazine from their understanding of the word "recently".
<< "Tina is her own art director and is
spectacularly abusive of people in the
visual department who work for her," he
says, "I mean really quite shocking. Yelling
at them, abusive language, you know, 'This
is fucking dull, this is fucking boring,
what's wrong with you? Go get me something.
I want it in four hours, I want it in two
hours, I want it in thirty minutes, I want
it now.' That kind of stuff.">>
ahh f'kng diddums. Is it just me who lives in some sort of Liar's Poker dystopia, or are these people being a leetle bit precious?
<<One long-standing minion of
Tina's recalls that on her first day at work
at Vanity Fair there was an impromptu
leaving party for someone who'd been at the
magazine for years. "When she found out they
were throwing a party for her she said,
'Does this mean I'll finally get to meet
Tina Brown?'">>
oh for bloody hell's sake.
<< In 1985 Tina asked him to commission a short
story for the Christmas issue and he managed
to persuade Isaac Bashevis Singer to write
one. He turned it in and a few days later it
came back to him with the words "Beef it up
Singer" scrawled on the bottom in big red
letters.
"I had to gently explain to Tina," laughs
Heilpern, "that 'Beef it up Singer' was a
recipient of the Nobel Prize for
Literature.">>
Of course, no Nobel Prize winner has ever churned out hack-work for a magazine, ever.
It's not like I want to read this magazine or anything. But Toby Young really desperately needs to be conscripted into the army or something.
dd
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