Oi! I heard that!

DANIEL.DAVIES at flemings.com DANIEL.DAVIES at flemings.com
Tue Aug 31 01:30:09 PDT 1999


Doug sez:

Another digest that poor Daniel Davies won't get, thanks to Flemings' word-sniffer!


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Actually I did. It appears that, according to our IT worker bee:

"Our email system does have a built-in vetting system designed to prevent inappropriate email traffic between Robert Fleming and the public mail network. Currently, this blocks messages which:

1. have an AVI ("movie" format) file attachment, or 2. contain multiple occurrences of words likely to indicate an acceptable message e.g. s*x and j*ke.

Until recently, JPEG file attachments were also blocked but various business requirements for using JPEG files caused this to be abandoned. In view of this change, FEWER messages should now be blocked. I would imagine that many funny pictures are in JPEG format, so the problem of catalysing clients may be easing!

The vetting system operates AUTOMATICALLY and, despite careful testing, there remains a possibility of acceptable messages being blocked. There is a continuing epidemic of joke related emails entering Flemings via Internet mail, being circulated within the Company and, worst of all, being sent out from Flemings via Internet mail. It is important that we endeavour to trap such email and, indeed, any kind of pornographic messages, but the technology is unfortunately incapable of distinguishing the innocuous from the innoffensive. Too many occurrences of the word Essex, for example, might cause a message to be blocked, but hopefully this does not happen very often!"

I used to think that the filter only worked on outbound messages (ie -- I couldn't swear at the rest of the world, but they could abuse me at will -- if anyone wants to know what it's like being a stockbroker, that's what it's like). But no. And I've had it confirmed that yes, too many uses of "Middlesex" will get you bounced.

So, if anyone wants to call me a f*cker without me knowing, I think that the trick is to make sure that it gets included in a digest with a lot of other naughty words ("J*ke", "C*ke" and "her*in" also seem to set it off). Putting the bad word in a thread title should do the trick.

Now, where's that fucking courier with my fucking heroin?

----------------------

Oh yeh, by the way, Max S said (same point made by Jordan):

In other words, to eliminate its tax liability, it has to expand its capital at a rate equal to the rate of return from its investment. Sooner or later this expansion has to slow down, if not stop, and the firm has to swallow some actual taxable net income. Expensing only puts off the day of reckoning.

Yeh, but if you put off the day of reckoning to a year when you're not in a tax-paying position (ie recognise enough taxable income to take you from minus a million earnings to zero), then you've effectively killed it.

The three golden rules for a financial controller who senses a taxable event:

1) Stop it from happening 2) If you can't stop it happening, put it off to another year 3) If you can't put if off, make sure it happens somewhere where you're losing money.

A mate in the audit industry told me that these rules were framed on the wall at New International

cheers

dd

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