In Warsaw's public restrooms, capitalism is the bottom line

[Ulhas Joglekar]

10 December 1999
In Warsaw's public restrooms, capitalism is the bottom line
By PETER FINN
WARSAW: In a public bathroom downtown, Agnieszka Siemiatkowski is having a
lovely lunch of Polish dumplings with side salad and a piping hot cup of
tea.
She finds nothing unusual in this.
``Delicious,'' she says of her meal. And her surroundings? ``Very nice.''
Indeed, they are. The walls are a marbleized baby blue. The tables are
bright and shiny. The kitchen is spotless. And the toilet, well, that's just
fine, too.
The public bathroom - that foul-smelling bane of municipalities everywhere -
has branched out in the try-anything capitalism of new Poland.
``Public bathrooms are not profitable,'' said Eugeniusz Gora, Warsaw's
public bathroom czar. ``We wanted to keep public toilets but expand their
activities, because we didn't have the money to maintain them.''
So they are now luncheterias, Chinese restaurants, pubs, even veterinary
offices - all the while maintaining their, er, basic function.
``We've had two kinds of reaction,'' said Marcin Affek, who in May opened
the Lunch Time Bar in a bathroom on a traffic island in the city center.
``Some of the older people would come down, hit their foreheads, and say
'What is going on?' But the younger people thought it was very cool. And
we're doing great business with all the office workers around here.''
It no longer looks like a public bathroom except for the grim march down a
narrow staircase from the street and the black-and-white ``WC'' sign that,
by law, must remain on display. Affek's eatery, except for its underground
location and lack of sunlight, is every bit the Warsaw diner. The toilet is
discreetly nestled by the entrance, just around a slight corner from the
eating area.
``The biggest psychological barrier for the customer is the walk down,''
said Affek.
In 1994, Gora's state agency, charged with picking up the trash and
maintaining public restrooms in the city, was in a cash crunch. The
restrooms were falling into disrepair when a bright light at the agency -
Gora doesn't recall who - thought of advertising them as business places to
the city's army of striving entrepreneurs.
The mantra: location, location, location. After all, most public bathrooms
are in areas with the highest pedestrian traffic or the best parks.
Since then, 28 of Warsaw's 42 public bathrooms have been leased for nominal
rents in exchange for renovations and a promise to allow the public to use
the facilities.
``The rent for this location is really good,'' Affek said.
Gora's staff periodically visits each business-bathroom - undercover, of
course - to ask to use the toilet and to ensure that lease terms are being
maintained.
``If they don't let people use the toilet,'' Gora said, ``they risk losing
their lease. Every tourist, every citizen of Warsaw has the right to use
these toilets.''
But an unsuspecting and desperate member of the public would be hard-pressed
to know that. In a series of difficult interviews with passing pedestrians
who were asked to identify a certain business, they unanimously described it
as a bar - and, at the same time, came to suspect that a questioning
foreigner was a lunatic:
``Excuse me. Is that a public toilet?''
``It's a blues bar,'' said one woman, pointing to the Blues Bar sign near
the Museum of Modern Art.
``Is it a toilet?''
``I'm sure they'll let you use the toilet,'' replied the clearly confused
woman before walking off, looking back repeatedly.
Blues Bar owner Karol Kuzmierczyk is happy to let anyone use the facilities
but says few venture down the stairway just for that.
``The sign has to be there,'' Kuzmierczyk said. ``But this is a blues bar:
live music, blues, rock 'n' roll. We can get 80 people in here on a Friday
night.''
The major losers in this capitalistic transformation are the bathroom
grannies who used to sit at the doorway, clean the toilets, and
traditionally charged about 10 cents for the privilege of entering. In the
Darwinian world of free markets, they've lost their underground bailiwicks.
``They've retired,'' said Gora, without an ounce of regret.(LATWP Svc)

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