PSEUDOLUS:
Hail, Miles Gloriosus. Welcome to Rome. Your bride awaits you.
MILES:
My bride...
My bride! My bride! I've come to claim my bride, Come tenderly to crush her against my side.
Let haste be made! I cannot be delayed: There are lands to conquer, cities to loot and peoples to degrade.
SOLDIERS:
Look at those arms! Look at that chest! Look at them!
MILES:
Not to mention the rest. Even I am impressed!
My bride! My bride! Come, bring to me my bride. My lust for her no longer can be denied.
Convey the news! I have no time to lose: There are towns to plunder, temples to burn and women to abuse.
SOLDIERS:
Look at that foot! Look at that heel! Mark the magnificent muscles of steel!
MILES:
I am my ideal!
I, Miles Gloriosus, I, slaughterer of thousands, I, oppressor of the meek, Subduer of the weak, Degrader of the Greek, Destroyer of the Turk, Must hurry back to work.
MILES & ROMANS:
I/he, Miles Gloriosus,
SOLDIERS:
A man among men!
MILES & ROMANS:
I/he, paragon of virtue,
SOLDIERS:
With sword and with pen!
MILES:
I, in war the most admired, In wit the most inspired, In love the most desired, In dress the best displayed--
I am a parade!
SOLDIERS:
Look at those eyes, cunning and keen, Look at the size of those thighs, like a mighty machine!
PSEUDOLUS:
Those are the mightiest thighs that I ever have theen! I mean...
MILES:
My bride! My bride! Inform my lucky bride: The fabled arms of Miles are open wide.
Make haste! Make haste! I have no time to waste: There are shrines I should be sacking, Ribs I should be cracking, Eyes to gouge and booty to divide.
Bring me my bride!