Max, is this my Valentine's Day poem?
At 12:19 PM 2/9/1999 -0500, you wrote:
>Bring Me My Bride
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>PSEUDOLUS:
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>Hail, Miles Gloriosus.
>Welcome to Rome.
>Your bride awaits you.
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>MILES:
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>My bride...
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>My bride!
>My bride!
>I've come to claim my bride,
>Come tenderly to crush her against my side.
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>Let haste be made!
>I cannot be delayed:
>There are lands to conquer, cities to loot and peoples to degrade.
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>SOLDIERS:
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>Look at those arms!
>Look at that chest!
>Look at them!
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>MILES:
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>Not to mention the rest.
>Even I am impressed!
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>My bride!
>My bride!
>Come, bring to me my bride.
>My lust for her no longer can be denied.
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>Convey the news!
>I have no time to lose:
>There are towns to plunder, temples to burn and women to abuse.
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>SOLDIERS:
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>Look at that foot!
>Look at that heel!
>Mark the magnificent muscles of steel!
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>MILES:
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>I am my ideal!
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>I, Miles Gloriosus,
>I, slaughterer of thousands,
>I, oppressor of the meek,
>Subduer of the weak,
>Degrader of the Greek,
>Destroyer of the Turk,
>Must hurry back to work.
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>MILES & ROMANS:
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>I/he, Miles Gloriosus,
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>SOLDIERS:
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>A man among men!
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>MILES & ROMANS:
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>I/he, paragon of virtue,
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>SOLDIERS:
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>With sword and with pen!
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>MILES:
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>I, in war the most admired,
>In wit the most inspired,
>In love the most desired,
>In dress the best displayed--
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>I am a parade!
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>SOLDIERS:
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>Look at those eyes, cunning and keen,
>Look at the size of those thighs, like a mighty machine!
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>PSEUDOLUS:
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>Those are the mightiest thighs that I ever have theen!
>I mean...
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>MILES:
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>My bride!
>My bride!
>Inform my lucky bride:
>The fabled arms of
>Miles are open wide.
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>Make haste!
>Make haste!
>I have no time to waste:
>There are shrines
>I should be sacking,
>Ribs I should be cracking,
>Eyes to gouge and booty to divide.
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>Bring me my bride!
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