[Warning: this post contains no ad hominem remarks, slurs, viciousness, slander, ruthless criticism, race-baiting, complaints, or other negative vibes.]
1. Understand that Xerox and Wurlitzer were going to merge. They're going to make reproductive organs.
2. A number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called Fairwell Honeychild.
3. There is a merger in the works involving Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker.
4. There has long been a rumor that W. R. Grace Co. was going to buy the Fuller Brush Co. and Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with the Hale Business systems. This would result in the new mega-corporation Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Others in the works: 5. 3M & Goodyear = mmmGood
6. John Deere & Abitibi-Price = Deere Abi
7. Honeywell & Imasco & Home Oil = Honey, Im Home
8. Denison Mines & Alliance & Metal Mining = Mine, All Mine
9. 3M & JC Penney & Canadian Opera Company = 3 Penney Opera
10. Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants = Poupon Pants
11. Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women = Knott NOW!
12. Zippo Manufacturing & Audi & Dofasco & Dakota Mining = Zip Audi Do-Da