Martha's Vineyard, Mass (AP)--At a press conference held shortly after Kennedy family members returned from a ship-board memorial service during which the ashes of John F. Kennedy, Jr., his wife and her sister were scattered at sea, a Coast Guard official admitted that he and many of his colleagues were "chagrined--you could say 'righteously pissed' " at the family's gesture.
"I mean, hell," said Rear Admiral Richard Larrabee, "we spend five days busting our asses, and haul out the goddamn Navy, too, to recover these bodies from the floor of the Atlantic fucking Ocean--and what do they do? Fry 'em up and turn right back around and dump 'em in the goddamn ocean again, *the very next fucking day.*"
In response to a reporter's question, Larrabee elaborated: "I kind of feel they [the Kennedys] were fucking around with us, yes. It was like"--and here Larrabee assumed a ferret-like expression and began speaking in a whiny, caricatured tone of voice--" 'oooh, we're the Kennedys and you have to do what we say, United States Government! Ooooh, find the bodies! Find the bodies!' And then when we do, bang--the goddamn Hyannisport Shuffle, and back they go into the drink. To be perfectly honest, I thought that represented the Kennedys collectively going, ' *Nyah nyah nah, nyah nah nah.* We may be America's most star-crossed family, but we can still fuck with the likes of you any goddamn time we want.' "