guns prevent violence!

Jordan Hayes jmhayes at j-o-r-d-a-n.com
Wed May 5 17:11:08 PDT 1999


From catherine.driscoll at adelaide.edu.au Wed May 5 16:07:41 1999

>(largely they get them from Wal-Mart)

Hang on...

Hanging ...

do you mean... they sell guns at Wal-Mart?

You betcha!

Their web site is too complex to give you a single URL, but go to http://www.wal-mart.com/ and click on "sporting goods" and then on "Hunting" and you'll get an idea of just some of the wonderous things that are available at Wal-Mart. I don't think they'll sell you a gun over the Internet, but probably just because they are too confused to figure it out just right yet.

And where else? Well, most any good hardware store once you're outside of the city limits will at *least* sell ammo, if not a plinker or two.

I know Wal-Mart -- Kelley took me, it's like KMart, its a

household supermarket.

Exactly! OMIGOD, K-MART SELLS 'EM TOO!!! Though funny you should mention K-Mart, since one of their spokespeople, Rosie O'Donnell, thinks that if you own a gun you should go to jail and she's kicking up quite a bit of dust about it recently.

I'm surprised that Kelley took you to Wal-Mart and didn't show you the gun section (*bad Kelley!*). You being from Australia and all. In the mid-80's, I took a few visitors from the Soviet Union to a Costco in San Diego (Shamu, the beach, Tijuana, the SuperComputer Center all paled) just to watch them drool when they saw tires stacked up to the ceiling and 'no way!' me when I told them you didn't have to have an uncle in the Strategic Rocket Forces in order to go in there.

That's just nuts.

It is? Where else are ya supposed to buy 'em? Well, there's sporting goods stores, of course. And those specialty stores. But for all-purpose shopping, shop at the leader!

Wait, there's something else you should know. I think you should sit down first. Ready? Ok really, this is a big one: in the US, the government by-in-large trusts it's citizens to own firearms. And even use them! Yes, those wacky guys-n-gals in Washington think it's OK to own and operate a firearm. Incredible, isn't it? So it should come as no surprise that, *gasp*, we're also allowed TO BUY THEM.

A gun isn't like a lounge or a lawnmower!

That's *exactly* where you are wrong. It is so much more like a lounge or a lawnmower than anything else I don't know where to begin.

Tell me Jordan, what are the nonviolent uses of guns?

Well Catherine, I'm glad you asked. Now it's a long list, so you might oughta should get you a lemonade first. We might be into the semantics of violence here; certainly the discharge of a firearm (not in the least bit the only 'use' for a firearm) is indeed violent. A small (but "enough") explosion creates a reaction which simultaneously sends a bullet forcibly down the barrel AND (you know, action-reaction and all, Newton, that kind of thing) creates a thwump (Kelley, help me out: isn't that how you spell it?) against the holder of the firearm. Oh and cripes, it's usually louder than hell. Lotsa violence there, I tell ya.

Not as much violence as say that new ride where you fall 15 stories and pull 2.5 Gs stopping inches from the ground. But you get the idea. Plus, it's a good idea to wear eye and ear protection to cut down on the violence on you and those around you. And please: try to use the fully-jacketed stuff to cut down on the amount of lead that can leech into the stream over there.

Questionably violent uses include:

. Hunting. It's sorta violent, but most hunters never kill anything,

despite what they tell you, and it's more the hunt than the kill

that's supposed to be fun. Sorta like golf and walking: golf is

99% walking, but they put the ball and the stick in there to make

it a 'real' sport. Hunting is mostly getting ready, walking,

getting dirty, and getting un-ready. Oh, and drinking beer.

. Protect your livestock by scaring off coyotes. Ok, maybe you

shoot one now and again, but really only by mistake.

. Self-defense. You could defend yourself for years, perhaps your

whole life and never once do anything even remotely violent.

Absolutely nonviolent 'uses' of guns include:

. Target shooting sports (wait, you mean you missed the olympics?

shooting is one of the few sports represented at both the summer

*and* winter games), trap, etc.

. Collection items (what's the 'use' of a Beanie Baby, anyway?)

. Historical curio & relic (there's a whole section of the laws

covering what to do about that thing yer dad brought back from

that German bunker he helped storm in '44)

. Start foot races; always exciting, never violent!

. Show respect; they don't call it a 21-gun-salute for nuthin'!

. Signal distress (yes, flare guns for boats are ... guns!)

. Feed the economy; many people buy guns and never shoot them,

for a variety of reasons. Links into 'peace of mind' -- if you

buy a gun to make you feel better but never shoot it, did it

fulfill it's use? I think so.

. Finally, support the Constitution (I know, if you're not a

citizen of the US, why would you bother?); the founding fathers

wanted you to be a part of the unorganized militia. Why not?

Saying that guns have no 'non-violent use' is like saying that sex has no 'non-procreative (izat a word?) use' ...

</WOOHOO_MODE>

/jordan



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