>Date: Mon, 11 Oct 1999 08:24:54 -0400
>To: CharlesB at CNCL.ci.detroit.mi.us, cbcox at ilstu.edu
>From: kelley <oudies at flash.net>
>Subject: Re: Kelly [and Charles/Carrol]
>Cc: dhenwood at panix.com
>
>Charles and Carrol,
>
>Sorry for being a day late and a dollar short on a reply. I was a bit
sidetracked internet sleuthing to find out info about my latest fan.
>
>I don't think any apologies from Charles are necessary Carrol in so far as
it's not important to me to hear one. I do feel that I'd like to apologize
to Charles, though. I could have approached the topic a bit less harshly.
Carrol's right that it is my sensitivity to sexism that made it worse than
it had to be.
>
> I respect you a great deal Charles--and that's also why the convo was
painful. I realize you feel I condescend to you or mistreat you. [as i
have felt that you have me in the past, though not any more; we seemed to
have been on good respectful/teasing terms] I understand why you think
that. But I think that if you look at the way i treat Doug or Carrol or
Angela or Max or Eric or Jordan who I often despise, I am pretty much the
same snit grrRl to them all.
>
>I don't think,however, that I'm extraordinarily rude, unless I'm treated
that way first or if my interlocutor is clearly a bit off any way and not
worth my serious response. I have always given you a serious response
Charles, but not a humorless one. I'm a flirt and a joker and that comes
from spending most of my working life working among men [I was, for years,
a cook in a kitchen] in order to survive you had to learn how to crack a
joke with the best of them, to slam them like the best of them, swear like
a sailor, and take it "like a man". It's called working class work culture
and there's lots of research on it, some of which overlaps with the
research on "doing the dozens". Among those communities such rituals are
actually cohesive and solidaristic, rather than divisive.
>
>In any event, I wanted to get back to you. I won't be posting regularly
on LBO in any event. So, I promise to stay away from touchy subjects and
think very carefully about them if I feel it necessary to intervene or
speak up. I essentially agree with Ange: I don't think charges of racism or
sexism are valid merely because a woman or person of color maintains they
are. Rather, I think the claims should be debated with seriousness and
good humor --and I would hope the assumptions of good intentions on
everyone's parts.
>
>Carrol, I will get in touch when I've had time to read Lacquer. We're
viewing Strawberry and Chocolate right now, so no time. I hope you noticed
that I used caps, too!! ;-)
>
>Oh and almost forgot: what did you mean about Kultur? Should we get rid
of it? We were trying to capture the way in which culture is both
constraining and generative. I'm sure we can think of a different way of
capturing the distinction!
>
>I'll have more time soon, since we have to take down the list and start
fresh at a new home because the bozo who's stalking me is such an idiot!
So, Carrol, I'll meet you guys on m-fem in about three weeks, perhaps less
and we'll talk Bodies!
>
>kelley