Lagavulin was Re: Hundreds arrested

Rob Schaap rws at
Wed Apr 19 22:13:40 PDT 2000

Aw, sheeet! For a minute there it looked as if I was on to both a Lagavullin and a Laphroig! Confronted with defaults like this, what's a peripheral power to do? No IMF to destroy my tormentors' livelihoods and bring them under my control, no bovver boyz to send in on my behalf, and no chance of the Australian kopek bringing down Sterling, either! My plight is obvious to any institutionalist, but those silly neoclassicals still insist on trying to comfort me with the news I'm running a terrific current account. Let them try to borrow a shot of nectar against that sorta collateral!

All I can do is tune into the resurgence, and float my data bank service, Welcher-dot-com. I'm offering ten shares at a Jamesons a piece, and I'll keep ninety. That way I'm suddenly worth a hundred bottles of Jamesons. Then I'll redeem as many of the technically outstanding 90 bottles as I can get, and leave the ten suckers to their brickless clicks. 'Course I'd be adding 50% to in the process, as my name would have to join Daniel's and Mark's in the data bank. I'd beggar my stockholders, cop a good drink, and become a WSJ posterboy in one fell swoop!

It's fair exchanges like this that make that tired old 20th century exploitation of the wage relation seem so vulgar, doncha think?

Yours bullishly, Rob.

>>> "Max B. Sawicky" wrote:
>>> > I securitized the case of Lagavullin, got Henwood
>>> > to underwrite, and he sold bonds to frail pensioners.
>>> > We cleaned up.
>>> What I want to know is, when is the IMF going to send me the scotch.
>>> Enrique Diaz-Alvarez
>>> You have to be bombed and pacified first,
>>> then set up simulated democratic institutions.
>>> Then you get a scotch voucher which you can
>>> redeem for 1/8th of a bottle.
>>I am the jilted bondholder here, so I was thinking the IMF goes to Tom
>>Lehman's house, takes the Lagavulin, gives it to me and sends a team to
>>turn Jones into a lean, mean, Lagavulin-repaying machine.
>Meanwhile, I am a dangerous nutcase who might be building a nuclear device
>in his shed, so I hereby discharge my obligations to Rob Schaap (a bottle
>of Laphroaig) by signing him up to a couple of spam lists and the IMF will
>most likely tell him to whistle for it .... :-)
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