[This site has a transcript of the act comedian Bill Hicks performed on Letterman in '93 that was censored. Here's a taste. Warning, it's kind of morbid.]
Bill: You know who’s really bugging me these days. These pro-lifers ... (Smattering of applause.)
Bill: You ever look at their faces? ‘I’m pro-life!’ (Bill makes a pinched face of hate and fear, his lips are pursed as though he’s just sucked on a lemon.)
Bill: ‘I’m pro-life!’ Boy, they look it don’t they? They just exude joie de vie. You just want to hang with them and play Trivial Pursuit all night long.
(Audience chuckles.)
Bill: You know what bugs me about them? If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour – don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
(Audience laughs.)
Bill: Let’s see how committed you are to this idea. (Bill mimes the pursed lipped pro-lifers locking arms.)
Bill: (as pro-lifer) She can’t come in!
(Audience laughs.)
Bill: (as confused member of funeral procession) She was 98. She was hit by a bus!
(Audience laughs.)
Bill: (as pro-lifer) There’s options!
(Audience laughs.)
Bill: (as confused member of funeral procession) What else can we do? Have her stuffed?
(Audience laughs. )
Bill: I want to see pro-lifers with crowbars at funerals opening caskets – ‘get out!’ Then I’d be really impressed by their mission.
(Audience laughs and applauds.)