>AND
>A VHS Conference-Quality Video
>Entitled
>'From Tailhook '91 to Karl Marx '99'
> I'm ordering my videotape now. Operators
>
> Michael Pugliese
>are standing by now. 1-800-WER-NUTZ
no kidding!! this is news? sheesh.
christalmightyonacrutch pugliese where DO you get this sh...stuff from? sensitivity training!? what do you do that you're surfing way more than me and i practically get paid to surf! heh. just teasing you, but rilly!
and peter k. if ya dig southern chicks, check out the following, a recommend from the infrequent poster, michael corbin: _Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love_ as i recall he recommended it when i decided to reclaim my virginity. don't ask ME why.... corbin's the kinda dude you don't want to second guess. anyway, i thought i'd sonny and cher some passages for ya. kilander i'm afraid a penchant for southern babes tells us far more about you than you'd imagined!
The True Magic Words:
We feel that in any area of life, it is highly desirable to get other people--men--to do things for you. This includes, but is not restricted to, performing all manner of personal services, as in cooking, cleaning, and errand-running, and especially rubbing, fawning, worshiping in word and deed, constantly, and, of course, paying for things....
Toward this end we have formulated the True Magic Words. Let me assure you that these words used correctly just beat the hell out of please. As a matter of fact, if you use these words correctly, you can forget the word please even exists... With these words you will have the instant ability to persuade any man on earth to willingly, happily and swiftly do your bidding. One Hundred Percent Guaranteed....
Here's what you do: First, decide what it is that you want or need done, handled, fetched or purchased. Then select the man you want to perform this task. It doesn't matter which one; they are interchangeable. Anyway, pick a guy. Outline for him in vivid detail exactly what you will require of him. It is vital that you cover all the bases at this point, because once he hears the words, he will be momentarily slack-jawed and breathless, and then his brain will irretrievably lock. He is a man with a mission, and he is going to do whatever you want so fast, your head will spin, so get out of the way.
So you've followed the steps so far. You've identified your need. You've selected the designated guy. You've shared with him in minute catalog your heart's desire. You are ready for the Magic Words. The words have been uttered so successfully so many times in Jackson, Mississippi, and abroad by the Sweet Potato Queens that they have become known as the Sweet Potato Queen Promise, or simply, the Promise. And what we do is this. One or more of us will visit the designated guy and make the pitch: "And if you will do this one little ole thing for us, we promise that"--and here's what clinches the deal, the True Magic Words--"we, all eight of us, will give you a blow job."
And then we shut up.
Do not under any circumstances utter another word after the True Magic Words have been spoken. Any sales manual will tell you that, once you have made your offer, the next one who speaks loses. And trust me, ladies, he will speak. Okay, maybe he won't actually speak. There may not be time. He may have just launched himself out the nearest window in his rush to comply with your wishes. But the result is the same.
And now, let me hasten to explain to you, as you will to him: There is a vast difference between the promise of something and the receipt thereof. What he has received is the Promise. But it's no trouble at all to help him see that, even with the Promise, he is miles ahead of where he was without it. He is actually in the ballpark now. It could happen. It won't, never has, but it doesn't matter. Men just love to hear you say the words.
Talk about shooting fish in a barrel. This is so easy. If it didn't make them so happy, we'd probably feel bad about it and quit. And it works so damn well. We've used this technique repeatedly through the civilized world. Not only have we never failed to get what we want, but to date not one Promise has ever been fulfilled."
<...>
"It's sad--but even sadder, it's true--that a disproportionate number of men who you will be temporarily enraptured with throughout your lifetime will turn out, to warrant killing....In our experience the more incorrigible the guy, the more deeply in love he is with us; and his tenacity is like that of one of those unrelenting Boston terriers that will bite the end of a rope and then you can swing the rope, dog and all, around over your head a hundred miles an hour all day long and the brute will never let go."