On Mon, 02 Oct 2000 04:53:49 -0400 kelley <kwalker2 at gte.net> wrote:
> anyone have other juicy stories?
There was a guy on a do-it-yourself show that was trying to repair a shower curtain. He'd previously been working outside so he decided to climb in the bathroom window, you know, for effects. He slipped (breaking the window), grabbed onto the shower curtain and pulled the entire thing, rod and all onto the floor - meanwhile his wrench, falling out of his belt, smashed the toilet.
A group of bank robbers decided to rob a bank just before closing time. They decided to rush into the branch through the revolving door. Unfortunately, the bank had closed early and the first two would-be-thieves ran full speed into the glass. Both received concussions.
Another bank robber successfully robbed a bank. He ran outside and jumped into the nearest cab and yelled "Drive!" Alas, it was the back seat of a cop car.
Another do-it-yourself show, the guy was replacing the ceiling in a cellar. He took down the existing panels knocked out the supports, and went upstairs to get something. Of course, without the supports, the first floor of the house collapsed into the cellar. No one was hurt.
Another would-be-theif decided to rob a grocery store first thing in the morning, before anyone arrived at the store. He put a 10pound note on the counter while the cashier opened the register, which contained a 5pound note. He grabbed it and ran, leaving the 10pound note on the counter.
The Russian military during WWI (?) decided to use dogs to destroy oncoming German tanks. They trained the dogs to fetch food underneath the tanks. When the German units crossed the horizon, they tied bombs to the dogs and let them loose. The dogs ran straight for the German tanks, that is until they turned around a few seconds later and went to look for food underneath the Russian tanks on which they had trained. The entire front line was destroyed.
The Brit's also came up with a novel way of destroying tanks, the sticky grenade. In order to get through the armour, it was stuffed with explosive, weighing seven pounds. Of course, even if the thrower could throw the damn thing far enough to get out of harms way (which, in theory, is possible) ... it was sticky and couldn't be released from the hand of even the strongest throwers.
The Canadian government changed the $50 bills, and put a reflective design on the front. They decided to do a study to find out how many of the golden designs someone would have to eat before reaching toxic levels. The result was $37,500 worth. The total cost of the research: $37,500.
heroic failures, each and every one.
ken