>if someone calls me racist, sexist, ablist, homophobic, heterosexist >what
>does it hurt other than my leftist pride? if the person who points it >out
>hasn't done so, i'll ask for evidence as to how i am. and i probably >will
>debate it. eventually, i will be persuaded or not. contrary to some on
> >this
>list, i've been--plenty of times--shown how my comment was racist or
> >sexist
>or whatever. i've sure learned plenty from marta when she's spoken up.
>carrol. yoshie. angela. ken. art. kmart, a fellah on this list who i >end
>up
>readin on another list. mina. i've felt the sting of recognition even >when
>the comments weren't directed at me. still, i've listened to their
>arguments about why a practice is a form of oppression and i've been
>persuaded by the argument. but this process doesn't destroy my sense of
>self, my identity. in fact, it makes my self so much better! i grow. i
>learn. i get outside of my privilege. think: spivak: unlearning one's
>privilege as one's loss. i don't take it so personally that i feel
>besmirched and shamed by it. nor should you. that's because i know we >all
>create and recreate these oppressions every day. we can't see it >without
>one another's help.
>
>it should shame no one to deal with these issues. why should it? you >lose
>nothing other than a dream of deliverance from being bound by the same
>ideological structures as everyone else.
>
>
>kelley
I agree with this.
However, such a pointing out is usually, it's been my experience here and elsewhere, accompanied by scorn, open or implied, for the offender's being unable to see something so "obvious". That makes the sting hurt even worse and, I would expect, makes the offender less likely to listen, at least right away.
You must be made of sterner stuff than me, Kelley. Whenever my sins are pointed out, in a public venue such as this, the first thing on my mind, besides shame, is: what does everyone else think of me now? and will they listen to me anymore, after having passed judgement? I, at least, find it hard to take a hit and respond with "Wow! It makes my self so much better!"
You're right: we can't see the oppressions without one another's help. It's an ongoing process which involves backsliding and blind-spots. What I would like to see is more forgiveness and tolerance for one another's errors while same errors are pointed out.
Todd :{I>
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