>Todd asked me what women of color told white women in a feminist theory
>course in grad school. i refused to answer,
No, you answered: you gave me a list of writers to look into. That was a fine enough answer for me.
>for a reason, the same >one i
>gave a few years ago the few times that women were asked to explain to >men
>what feminism was all about. and now it comes up again, even though i >and
>some other women here spoke to this topic a couple of times already. >Well,
>to answer Todd, this piece is about racism, but y'all can use your
> >abstract
>thinking skills and apply it to yisself (ourselves) and to sexism
>(heterosexism, classism, ablism) on this topic:
Thanks for answering me twice. Y'know I'm getting the idea that my denseness pisses you off royally; why bother expanding even further on what you said earlier without any further word from me?
>
>Something About the Subject Makes It Hard to Name
>Gloria Yamato
><...>
>Whites who want to be allies to people of color: You can educate
> >yourselves
>via research and observation rather than rigidly, arrogantly relying
> >solely
>on interrogating people of color.
Sorry if my questions constitute an interrogation. Guess I'll shut up in the future.
>Do not expect that people of color >should
>teach you how to behave non-oppressively.
True, but if a person of colour calls me or someone I admire or whose works I read a racist/sexist I want to know why. Seems only fair to ask the critic to explain him/herself. And yes, you're right: they aren't under an obligation to answer me. Even if they don't think I'm scum because I'm white and/or male. Seems rather foolish though to leave me to formulate my own ideas with absolutely no input from them. I might fuck up again, they critique me again, I fuck up, etc. until one or both of us gives up in frustration.
>Do not give into the pull to >be
>lazy. Think, hard.
I do try. I do fail. I do try again. But if I keep getting slapped down because of my mistakes, and the slapper doesn't tell me what's the problem, eventually I find other, more interesting ways to waste my time.
>Do not blame people of color for your frustration >about
>racism, but do appreciate the fact that people of color will often >help
>you
>get in touch with that frustration.
How? By critique unto alienation?
>Assume that your effort to be a >good
>friend is appreciated, but don't expect or accept gratitude from >people of
>color .
This is generally how I treat anyone. But how can you be a good friend if you don't accept gratitude when it is offered?
>Work on racism for your sake, not "their" sake. Assume that >you are
>needed and capable of being a good ally.
See above.
>Know that you'll make >mistakes and
>commit yourself to correcting them and continuing on as an ally, no >matter
>what.
Despite getting spat upon and abused for honest mistakes?
>Don't give up.
This last is handy. It does help more, thanks, to clarify my thinking.
><...>
>
>here's more context:
>Racism(sexism)--simple enough in structure, yet difficult to eliminate.
>Racism(sexism) is pervasive in the U.S culture...
>
>The forms of racism(sexism) I pick up on these days are 1) >aware/blatant
>racism(sexism), 2) aware/covert racism(sexism), 3) >unaware/unintentional
>racism(sexism), and 4) unaware/self-righteous racism(sexism). I can't >say
>I
>prefer any one form of racism(sexism), because they all look like an >itch
>needing a scratch. Outright racists will, without apology or confusion,
>tell us that b/c of our color we don't appeal to them. ... Growing up,
>aware/cover racism is what I heard my elders bemoaning "up North," >after
>having escaped the overt racism "down South." ...
>
>Unaware/unintentional racism(sexism) drives usually tranquil
>white(male)liberals wild when they get called on it, and confirms the
>suspicion that white (male) folks are just plain crazy. ...
Guess ignorance is a mania now, eh?
>
>Now, the newest form of racism that I'm hip to is unaware/self->righteous
>racism. The "good white" racist attempts to shame Blacks into being
>blacker, scorns Japanese-Americans who don't speak Japanese, and knows
> >more
>about the Chicano/a community than the folks who make up the community.
>They assign themselves as the "good whites," as opposed to the "bad
>whites," and are often so busy telling people of color what the issues >in
>the Black, Asian, Indian, Latino/a communities should be that they >don't
>have time to deal with their errant sisters and brothers in the white
>community. Which means that people of color are still left to deal with
>what the "good whites" don't want to...racism.
>...
>(notice here, that when it comes to sexism, white males here recently >that
>are just plain busy bitching about what horrible feminist do, but they
> >have
>not actually got a klew what feminist do or think.
Please, pardon my density once again. Can't help but ask questions you might consider stupid or pointless.
>they just think >that, as
>good lefties, they should piss and moan about what bad, awful liberal
>feminists (like Mary Daly and Andrea Dworkin) do, usually getting it >wrong
>and passing around the same myths that rightwingers tell one another.
>pathetic, really.)
Pardon my mistakes again, please?
>
>So, what can we do? Acknowledge racism(sexism) for a start, even >though
>and
>especially when we've struggled to be kind and fair, or struggled to >rise
>about it all. It is hard to acknowledge the fact that racism(sexism)
>circumscribes and pervades our lives. Racism(sexism) must be dealt >with on
>two levels, personal and societal, emotional and institutional. It is
>possible--and most effective--to do both at the same time. ...
>
>i urge y'all to read the rest. and more....
Doing my best but that air of omniscience that seems to attach itself to your posts makes it damn hard.
>
>
>kelley
One of the names you gave me in that list of authors, bell hooks, struck a chord. I finally got around to looking and found the book where I have an essay of hers: in Forbidden Passages, hooks' piece: Eating the Other: Desire and Resistance. She articulated quite neatly using passages from a play, Les Blancs (Lorraine Hansberry), what, I suspect, you have been trying to tell me:
<quote> Again and again Tshembe must make it clear to Charles that subject to subject contact between white and black which signals the absence of domination, of an oppressor/oppressed relationship, must emerge through mutual choice and negotiation.
Fine with me, but if I get the signal that I'm not wanted I go elsewhere. Hmmm, pardon my denseness again. I did get a signal from you a while ago that you didn't want to communicate with me. Duhhhh! Guess this'll be my last one, then. Please excuse me.
I did find it interesting that she then points out: "Mutual recognition of racism, its impact both on those who are dominated and those who dominate, is the only standpoint that makes possible an encounter between races that is not based on denial and fantasy." So if I'm dominant by virtue of history and accidents of birth, the only thing it seems to me I can do if I want to help is leave well enough alone. Don't act like a racist best I can but don't have anything to do with people of colour for fear that I inadvertantly do something wrong in my ignorance. I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't. What's the point of being friendly towards someone who'll just be suspicious of me and my motives because of my colour/sex?
I'm despairing here, Kelley, because the only solution I'm seeing is a bullet in my brain.
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