> **************
> "THE RULES" AUTHOR DIVORCING:
>
> MSNBC March 23, 2001
>
>
> Divorce pits ŒRules¹ against reality
>
> Warner Books has a marketing puzzle on
> its hands By Devon Spurgeon THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
>
> March 23 ‹ Coming in June is the third installment of ³The Rules,² the
> controversial best-selling series of dating-and-mating advice books.
>
> IT IS SUBTITLED ³Time-Tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work.² But
> there is a problem. One of the co-authors is getting divorced.
>
> Now AOL Time Warner Inc.¹s publishing unit, Warner Books, which is planning
> to print at least 100,000 copies of ³Rules III,² has a marketing puzzle on
> its hands: how to sell a how-to book on wedded bliss co-written by a woman
> whose marriage is kaput.
>
> At stake is a publishing franchise. Released on Valentine¹s Day 1995, the
> 171-page first volume of ³The Rules² became a world-wide blockbuster after
> it was reported that Princess Diana had adopted the dating strategy. With
> its calculating counsel to women on how to catch a man, the book touched off
> gender wars in offices, on talk shows and around college campuses.
>
> And it made celebrities out of co-authors Ellen Fein and
> Sherrie Schneider, who boasted repeatedly that the success of their own
> happy marriages was proof that the ³Rules² work.
>
> Among other things, in the first book and its sequel, ³The Rules II,² the
> tart-tongued twosome advised women to be ³quiet and mysterious,² not to be
> too funny on a first date, to use egg timers to limit phone conversations
> with prospective beaus to 10 minutes or less, and even to get plastic
> surgery ³if you have a bad nose.²
>
> Though utterly galling to feminists and other critics, the first volume sold
> more than two million copies and has been translated into 27 languages.
> After ³Rules²-following sororities sprung up around the country, Warner
> Books figured on a big readership for a third book, with the two authors
> muscling in on matrimony.
>
> But as ³Rules III² was being readied for print in mid-January, Ms. Fein, 43
> years old, dropped a bomb on Warner Books. In a phone call to her editor,
> she revealed that she had filed for divorce from her husband of 16 years,
> Paul Feingertz, a pharmacist. What the publisher didn¹t realize was the
> divorce actually had been filed a year earlier.
>
> Ms. Fein, a stay-at-home mom before her book success, cited ³abandonment² as
> grounds for her divorce claim filed in Nassau County court in Garden City,
> N.Y., on Jan. 3, 2000. Neither Ms. Fein nor Mr. Feingertz would discuss the
> matter.
>
> Ms. Fein signed the contract for the new marital advice book in October
> 1999, only three months before she filed for divorce. She delayed telling
> Warner Books because she hoped to reconcile with her husband, says Caryn
> Karmatz Rudy, a senior editor who edited the ³Rules.²
>
> The third Rules volume stands to be as contentious as the first two. It
> advises a married women to be subservient to her mate and to wear her hair
> long, because men supposedly find it more attractive. And don¹t go looking
> to your husbands for sympathy about life¹s daily hassles, the authors
> caution, since men shouldn¹t be expected to be good nurturers.
>
> ³These are authors who have always been controversial and say what is on
> their mind,² says Jamie Raab, senior vice president and publisher of Warner
> Books. ³They stir the pot, and they are going to do it again.²
>
> The book also includes a chapter on the ³D² word ‹ divorce. Claiming that it
> is ³easier to stay married than get married,² the authors say strict
> observation of the ³Rules² can even restore a failing relationship.
>
> But what makes the divorce issue especially resonant is the authors¹ habit
> of using their marital status to promote their books. In an appearance on
> the ³Oprah Winfrey Show² in November 1996, for instance, Ms. Fein twice
> described herself as ³happily married² to bolster her authority on courtship
> tactics. And in repeated disagreements with another Oprah guest, feminist
> Regina Barreca, she even suggested that Ms. Barreca¹s divorce undermined her
> credibility. ³We are on our first marriages, and you¹re on your second,² she
> sniped to the author of ³Perfect Husbands (and Other Fairy Tales.)²
>
> ³It really became a catfight,² recalls Ms. Barecca, in an interview. ³Being
> married is not a credential.²
>
> Unfortunately, Ms. Fein¹s divorce revelation came after advance copies of
> ³Rules III² had been printed, with a cover blurb citing the two authors¹
> enduring marriages as proof of their connubial wisdom: ³Ellen and Sherrie,
> two longtime married women themselves, know that just because you¹ve married
> the man of your dreams doesn¹t mean your work has ended; good marriages
> don¹t happen by accident."
>
> The marriage reference will be dropped from the next cover printing, and
> Warner Books also is crafting an 11th-hour insert to the book¹s foreword
> acknowledging the state of Ms. Fein¹s marital affairs, says Ms. Raab. While
> not yet finalized, she says, it will note that one of the authors has
> separated from her husband, but that both Ms. Fein and Ms. Schneider still
> believe in their ³Rules² and strongly stand by them.
>
> For now, Ms. Fein and Ms. Schneider, 41, are remaining silent about the
> divorce, which is pending, because they plan to address the issue during
> book signings and other appearances on their promotional tour later this
> year, Ms. Raab says.
>
> The book executive says the publisher won¹t be telling the authors what to
> say, but she hinted at how the pair might try to deflect any criticism. In
> the new book, after all ³You learn as much about [relationships] that do
> work as you do about things that don¹t,² she says. Besides, there are other
> successful love gurus who have been through a divorce, namely John Gray,
> author of ³Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.² Syndicated advice
> columnist Ann Landers also is divorced.
>
> One contradiction Ms. Fein may have to tackle: The first book promised women
> that they could avoid a ³messy divorce² if they follow the ³Rules.²
> ³Instead, you will have one of those made-in-heaven marriages. A ŒRules¹
> marriage is forever,² the two authors proclaimed.
>
Most of this kind of attenuated family values nonsense is media hype, of course, but there are the David Blankenhorns, and Barbara Whiteheads who take it seriously. Nice news.
Christopher Rhoades Dÿkema