Stock broker joke

Kevin Robert Dean qualiall_2 at yahoo.com
Thu Mar 29 19:10:23 PST 2001


A young man named Rick is given an interview for the position of stock broker with a large Investment firm.

Interviewer: Rick I noticed you were a student at Harvard in the Business program.

Rick: Yes Sir I was. Unfortunately someone caught me cheating on the finals and I was expelled without graduating.

Interviewer: You realize this impacts your employment opportunities.

Rick: I definitely do sir. That paper would have made a big difference in my life.

Interviewer: Rick I want to test your knowledge of finance. I will give you a term and you tell me what you think it means.

Rick:No problem.

Interviewer:Fundamental Analysis

Rick:Fundamental analysis is a psychiatric term where the subject participates in amusing exercises and the results are used to obtain a quantitative measurement of mental state.

Interviewer: P/E Ratio.

Rick: Did you say pee ratio?

Interviewer: Yes Rick.

Rick: Oh yes. The pee ratio. Well the pee ratio is in fact a urine test. This test determines within 5% accuracy which days a woman is likely to go on her period.

Interviewer: Short Squeeze

Rick: The short squeeze is an exercise that a freshman to a school or a rookie to a team or job must endure. It is a form of initiation. A painful one , I might add.

Interviewer: That's all the question I have Rick.

Rick: How did I do.

Interviewer: Let me put it this way for you Rick. You have a history of cheating, can't get a job anywhere else, don't know what you are talking about but can shoot the baloney with the best of them. I'd say you are perfect for the job

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