Interviewer: Rick I noticed you were a student at Harvard in the Business program.
Rick: Yes Sir I was. Unfortunately someone caught me cheating on the finals and I was expelled without graduating.
Interviewer: You realize this impacts your employment opportunities.
Rick: I definitely do sir. That paper would have made a big difference in my life.
Interviewer: Rick I want to test your knowledge of finance. I will give you a term and you tell me what you think it means.
Rick:No problem.
Interviewer:Fundamental Analysis
Rick:Fundamental analysis is a psychiatric term where the subject participates in amusing exercises and the results are used to obtain a quantitative measurement of mental state.
Interviewer: P/E Ratio.
Rick: Did you say pee ratio?
Interviewer: Yes Rick.
Rick: Oh yes. The pee ratio. Well the pee ratio is in fact a urine test. This test determines within 5% accuracy which days a woman is likely to go on her period.
Interviewer: Short Squeeze
Rick: The short squeeze is an exercise that a freshman to a school or a rookie to a team or job must endure. It is a form of initiation. A painful one , I might add.
Interviewer: That's all the question I have Rick.
Rick: How did I do.
Interviewer: Let me put it this way for you Rick. You have a history of cheating, can't get a job anywhere else, don't know what you are talking about but can shoot the baloney with the best of them. I'd say you are perfect for the job
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