Surrendered Wives

[Christopher Rhoades Dÿkema]

If you want regular doses of this kind of bullshit, get yourself on the
Smartmarriages listserv. It' s the brainchild of a self-important mediocrity
called Diane Sollee, who is, or was, a family therapist, and who, a few years
ago, had some kind of epiphany in which she decided that fostering marriage was
the answer to all the problems of society. She is, as a result, kind of a
communitarian like Amitai Etzioni and David Blankenhorn, and an emptier version
of  Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe's National Marriage Project at
Rutgers University. (www.marriage.rutgers.edu). She's also close to a group at
the U. of Chicago Divinity School that also takes the same line.

This works out to be a backlash against feminism, though they would probably
deny it, and a strong position in favor of individual/familial responsibility
as a response to what really are stresses arising out of living in the society
we inhabit.

Christopher Rhoades Dÿkema

Doug Henwood wrote:


> Rob Schaap wrote:
>
> >Sounds for the most part (the finances bit is a bit dodgy) like a 'good
> >spouse', even a 'good friend', checklist.  The quest for control is pretty
> >well inimical to all human relations, no?  So, going on this list, I don't
> >think 'surrendered wife' is anything but a marketing ploy to feed on some
> >controversy.  To the degree that these 'self-improvement' things have any
> >efficacy at all, this lot seems pretty harmless - mebbe even a useful
> >check-list against which to monitor one's own role in one's relationships
> >occasionally.
>
> This interpretation might have some validity if there were a
> countervailing call for the husband to surrender, but no, the book is
> all about flattering male vanity. One example: if your husband takes
> a wrong turn off the freeway (and it's assumed he does the driving,
> of course), don't say anything, even if you're about to cross the
> border of a neighboring state.
>
> Doug