i like you! you know how to chill and tell a joke. (added boner: you snip extraneous text! woohoo! :) someday, i'll buy ya a beer or a shot or mix you up a batch of margaritas and kick your ass at pool. deal?
on that note, there's another list that some of us at LOB (not a typho!) belong to, DC-stuff. (it's for the ppl who attend or have something to do with Defcon < www.defcon.org > and the Feds who love them. Defcon is a convention for the hacker underground. bwahahahaha </sarcasm>).
according to DC-stuff legend, there was once an exceptionally heated exchange which someone ended, saving face for all, by posting a recipe for lentil soup. For awhile, every time an exchange got too heated, the same recipe for lentil soup was posted as a way to say, "i'm tuckered out" or "i'm sick of this" or "we're perseverating". Then, someone posted a recipe for something other than lentil soup. And so on. Next thing you know, they had started developing a DC-stuff cookbook for all the <gag> SNAG wannabe hackers <SNAG==Sensitive New Age Guy OR Student Nurses' Assoc of Guam, special for Mat! smoochiez!>
so, i think we should start posting recipes for similar reasons. You don't have to post a real recipe since recipes for boiling water, Grandma's (hic) Cruitfake (hic), Scottish Tomato Bisque (Campbell's tomato soup with a tablespoon of margarine stirred in) are as welcome as recipes for Rendang Ayam, Red Pasta (mushroom arabiata sauce), and Suicide Salsa. Oh, and don't forget recipe humor fun, like "Hunting Wild College Girls" http://www.reeza.com/c00kb00k/misc/0002.html and "It's a Good Thing: The Joy of Dumb Sticks: Identifying, Selecting and Menu Planning" from Pulp Culture's Joiussance Underground Collective (woohoo!) http://www.reeza.com/c00kb00k/misc/0007.html
Hell, we can even produce them and sell 'em to raise funds for the maintenance of the list and the list archives.
and for the melanie klein inclined, think of recipe posting as mediating (and transitional) objects that allow for the process of reparation: recipes as symbolic gifts we give to one another after splitting and projecting our psyches all over each other and the list! :) (hi to Chris Rhoades Dykema! smoochiez x0x0x0x!)
here's my entry:
Rich Buttery Rolls
5 Cups of bread flour (high gluten) 2 pkgs. yeast 1/4 C. sugar 2 tsp. salt 1 C. warm water 3/4 C. cream or evaporated milk 1/4 C. unsalted butter 1 egg 1 C. cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces 1 egg 1 Tbs. water (makes 30-40 rolls)
Oven 350
1. In large bowl, combine 1 C. flour, the yeast, sugar and salt.
2. Heat 1 C. water, milk and 1/4 C butter until warm (120-130
degrees f).
3. Add liquid to flour mixture. Add 1 (one) egg
4. Blend at low speed for 3-4 minutes. (This is an electric
mixer recipe and it's best to use one because the recipe is
constructed for this method. It incorporates air into the
mix and helps assure that the rolls will be light.)
5. In another bowl, cut 1 C. of firm, cold butter into re-
maining 4 C of flour until the mixture forms into small
pea-sized lumps. Do not mix too much. Always use the
coldest butter possible; freeze if necessary. What you're
doing is making something akin to a croissant. The buttery
flakiness of croissants, though, is formed through repeated
rolling out of a dough, patting it with butter, folding it
several times and rolling out again. When you do this you
incorporate air into along with the butter/dough. This
quick 'n' easy method accomplishes something similar by
incorporating air with butter and flour mixture.
6. Pour yeast mixture over flour-butter mixture and gently fold
with large spatula or paddle just until moistened.
7. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours. Make sure the bowl is
twice the size of the dough. It will rise and spill over
the edge if you don't. (1 hr. if you use fast rising yeast).
8. Place dough on floured surface; knead 6 times. You do this
by placing dough on surface. With the heels of your hand
push dough away from you. Pick up dough and give a 1/4 turn.
Pull up by edge furthest away from you and fold it forward
toward you. Repeat above.
9. Divide into 4 parts. Roll each to 14" circle. Cut with knife
into 10 pie shaped wedges.
--Goddess Rolls (in honor of the moon goddess)
start at widest edge, roll toward the point
of the wedge. Shape as desired. You can
make the crescents as curvy as you like.
--for Phallocentric Rolls: shape as above,
but don't shape into curved crescents.
Leave straight and shape to your liking. (or not!)
10. Place on ungreased cookie sheet, point side down.
11. Cover with clean towel (use cheesecloth if you'd like).
Let rise in warm place until doubled. Usually 1-1/2 hrs
(half that if you use fast rising yeast).
12. Combine 1 slightly beaten egg and 1 Tbs. water; brush
rolls with mixture.
13. Bake in a 350 degree over (preheated) for 15-18 minutes
until golden brown. Remove from cookie sheets to cool
on racks.
You can also make breakfast pastries or deserts with these. Fill the crescents with raspberry jam or a cinnamon-sugar-butter mixture. Don't fill too full. I make easy cheese Danish with this recipe --combination of cream cheese, sugar, a touch of vanilla or lemon.
Enjouissance!
nights with forever
dusk-tinted skies and that tree that refuses to bear plums and you who keep the secret to a mystery that I wrote. --gary norris, a curriculum for joy
04.06.00
kelley