Betelgeuse: (laughing as the character in commercial for a Bio-Exorcist)
Heehoo! Havin' trouble with the livin'? You tired of havin' your home space violated? Wanna get rid of them pesky livin critters once and for all? Well come on down and see me folks, I'm the afterlife's leading bio-exorcist. Yes siree! So come on down, and I'll tell ya, I'll do anything. I'll scare 'em real bad. Hell, I'll even possess myself! (falls on ground and starts to shake) Ow! (gets back up) I got demons runnin' all through me, all through me, come on down and see it. And if you act now, you get a free demon possession with every exorcism, now you can't beat that can ya? Hell, bring the little pards down here. We got plenty of snakes and lizards for them to play with. There's no problem with that at all. So, say it once, say it twice, three times' a charm, and remember
(sings and dances) I'll eat anything you want me to eat and I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow. (stops dancing) So come down I'll chew on a dog. (howls)
Adam: What are your qualifications (for getting people-ghosts out of their home?
Betelgeuse: Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the Exorcist about a hundred and sixty-seven times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time i see it... not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy... now what do you think?!? You think I'm qualified?
From the Film Beetlejuice. Rent it. Laugh.
At 12:28 PM 9/18/01 -0500, j.f. noonan wrote:
>On Tue, 18 Sep 2001 at 12:12pm Yoshie Furuhashi wrote:
> >
> > Now, what are you doing in your town in response to the
> > impending war? I'd like info.
>
>
>My, Officer Yoshie, you are looking might fine in that uniform!
>
>
>(channeling kelley; impersonating lnp3.exe)
hmmm. i ate mexican last night. make sure ya got rolaids. or something.
:)
k