Drown them in treacle (Was: Bomb them with butter)

hncl at panix.com hncl at panix.com
Thu Sep 20 13:45:02 PDT 2001


And then boys and girls, Constant Reader threw up. -- Curtiss, who does not know his Dorothy Parker as well as he should

Chris Beggy forwarded:


> Every U down in Uville liked U.S. a lot,
> But the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not.
> The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
> Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,
> It could be his turban was screwed on too tight.
> Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright
> But I think that the most likely reason of all
> May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
>
> But, Whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,
> He stood facing Uville, the part that was urban.
> "They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch.
> "They're raising their families! They're going to church!
> They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving,
> I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!"
>
> Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's,
> Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses,
> They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools,
> And abide by their U and S values and rules,
>
> And then they'd do something he liked least of all,
> Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
> Would stand all united, each U and each S,
> And they'd sing Uville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!"
> All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they'd stand,
> and their voices would drown every sound in the land.
>
> "I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk,
> And he had an idea-an idea that might work!
> The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours,
> And crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers.
> "They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour,
> "And how can they sing when they can't find a tower?"
>
> The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping,
> All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping,
> Instead he heard something that started quite low,
> And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow-
> And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...
> And he couldn't believe it-they started to sing!
>
> He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,
> What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!
> Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
> Was singing! Without any towers at all!
> He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!
> For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young,
> Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride,
> And you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside.
>
> So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,
> With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small,
> And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope,
> For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.
>
> For America means a bit more than tall towers,
> It means more than wealth or political powers,
> It's more than our enemies ever could guess,
> So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless
>
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> End of lbo-talk-digest V1 #4916
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