>The mother, however, hates her infant from the word go. I believe
>Freud thought it possible that a mother may under certain
>circumstances have only love for her boy baby - but we may doubt
>this. We know about a mother's love and we appreciate its reality
>and power. Let me give some of the reasons why a mother hates her
>baby, even a boy.
>
>A. The baby is not her own (mental) conception.
>
>B. The baby is not the one of childhood play, father's child,
>brother's child, etc.
>
>C. The baby is not magically produced.
>
>D. The baby is a danger to her body in pregnancy and at birth.
>
>E. The baby is an interference with her private life, a challenge to
>preoccupation.
>
>F. To a greater or lesser extent a mother feels that her own mother
>demands a baby, so that her baby is produced to placate her mother.
>
>G. The baby hurts her nipples even by suckling, which is at first a
>chewing activity.
>
>H. He is ruthless, treats her as scum, an unpaid servant, a slave.
>
>I. She has to love him, excretions and all, at any rate at the
>beginning, till he has doubts. about himself.
>
>J. He tries to hurt her, periodically bites her, all in love.
>
>K. He shows disillusionment about her.
>
>L. His excited love is cupboard love, so that having got what he
>wants be throws her away like orange peel.
>
>M. The baby at first must dominate, be must be protected from
>coincidences, life must unfold at the baby's rate and all this needs
>his mother's continuous and detailed study. For instance, she must
>not be anxious when holding him, etc,
>
>N. At first he does not know at all what she does or what she
>sacrifices for him. Especially he cannot allow for her hate.
>
>O. He is suspicious, refuses her good food, and makes her doubt
>herself, but eats well with his aunt.
>
>P. After an awful morning with him she goes out, and be smiles at a
>stranger, who says: 'Isn't he sweet!'
>
>Q. If she fails him at the start she knows he will pay her out for ever.
>
>R. He excites her but frustrates - she mustn't eat him or trade in
>sex with him.