I really like Winnicott, but, based on personal experience, I can't go along with those abc's. For one thing, although our language gives us separate words for "mother" and "baby," there are in reality no mothers without babies and no babies without mothers.
Though the solitary ego may resent any interference with its liberties and its expansion (and therefore "hate" the baby), the experience of being a mother is more about an effacing of ego boundaries and a realization that one is (before anything else) intimately, fruitfully, eternally in relationship with others--without which relationship the holy ego is no more than a useless husk.
Needless to say, this situation is extremely complicated by the fact that motherhood is seldom chosen freely and consciously.
Joanna