Thou hast pissed me off. Why doest thou hate unto thine brethren?
Thou referenceth writings that I haveth no use for.
Thou knowest if thou gottest thy head out of thine ass, that I only wrotest the Ten Commandments. Moses hast written most of the rest of that tripe.
OK, OK, thou knowest I suggested some of it. But Moses hearkeneth to the oddest stuff! Seest, Moses had a little problem, and thou art like unto him, he wast obsessed with sex!
Now I did put sex upon the earth for thine enjoyment, verily. But thou hast made it into an awful trial. Thou art always thinking about thy odd sex acts, and thou faileth to think of me.
Thou hast forgotten thy God, and keepeth not my commandments, of which I smote off most of them leaving mainly that one about loving thy neighbor as thou lovest thyself.
Mine holy comedian, George Carlin, hast produced some other nice commandments, but Thy Lord and Thy God hast not decided about them yet.
Now, Thy God is busy keeping thou fools from blowing up my little planet, so I shall gettest back to work. However, If thou couldst, kindly stoppest all thy ruckus about fags, thou art giving the Lord thy God a migraine.
Verily,
YHWH
P.S. Thou didst understand that thy God wast more pissed about the pork, ne? Pork not only causeth heart disease, but also givest burn unto thy heart.
explanation: A sysadmin friend was asked by one of his users if he'd set up an account for god. He works for a mental health outfit so one of the subdomains is dsm-v. So, naturally the account was god at dsm-v.fubar.org. (I've redacted the real name of the mental health facility in order to protect the guilty from spam attacks :).
anyway, the sysadmin did not know why this guy wanted the account and didn't ask. He found out, though, because "god@" cc'd him the message (above) that he sent to God Hate Fags @ God Hates America.