that would be because i went to a weirdo school where we had mentors and tutors and i was treated as fully capable of engaging them as equals _with_ whom i claimed an education. if you've ever seen the film, Educating Rita, it was just like that. i don't mean this to sound obnoxiously superior at all. having had to move from that world to academia to obtain a graduate education i was so steeped in this alternative way of learning that it was very clear to me exactly what was going on in the hallowed halls of academe.
my first day of grad school orientation to the dept, we were meeting as a group with individual profs. they were, basically, selling themselves to us. heh heh. a woman who was to become a much beloved feminist mentor claimed that the problem with Kuhn's _Structure of Scientific Revolutions_ was that he didn't have a theory of scientific change. To which I basically said, with all the subtlety of the cudgel in the hands of the bad guy at the end of a game of donkey kong: "oh, come on. the title of his book suggests otherwise." and I launched into a debate with her about it, thinking this was perfectly normal. the very thing I'd imagined grad school was all about. HA!
Male professors have labeled this lack of understanding of the rituals of deference and demeanor, Charming. Well, that's what I think they mean, anyway. One of my buddies says it's the boobs, always the boobs. (sorry, inside joke)
kelley