[lbo-talk] Re: arranged marriages (was surveys prove men dumb, women smart)

[joanna bujes]

How does one separate the reported satisfaction with "arranged 
marriages" from the fact that this type of marriage preponderates in 
cultures where women have few or no rights?  If I lived in a 
traditional, patriarchal culture that supported arranged marriages I 
would be "satisfied" as a woman insofar as my marriage conferred some 
kind of citizenship and material advantage; I would be "satisfied" as a 
man insofar as my marriage guaranteed sex, a servant, and legitimate 
children. I suppose "satisfaction" might also be easier to gain if one 
did not, from the start, embark upon a search for happiness, but rather 
was more concerned to create a workable, stable relationship. I can also 
see how well-intentioned parents with some life-experience could 
actually improve the odds of selecting compatible mates for their 
children, but I suspect that the vanity and greed of many could also do 
just the opposite.

Actually, given a society in which women had real rights -- rights to 
control reproductive choice, rights to property, rights to work, rights 
to health-care, rights to an education -- arranged marriages (which 
would require the woman's free consent) would not be such a bad idea. 
They would define a marriage as that  stable, responsive environment 
needed to raise children and would define the parents' obligation toward 
those children. If both partners in such a marriage also had the right 
to have lovers, you could hardly improve on it. I'm not being bitter or 
cynical here -- just realistic.

Joanna