posted by GFOUA(tinGFOUA) Hive Mind on Saturday February 08 2003 @ 08:58AM PST
Galactic Federation Of Unfederated Anarchists (there is no Galactic Federation Of Unfederated Anarchists) reports on the events of Toronto’s February 15th, 2003 peace rally.
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From the Future Alternate Universe Newswire (FAUN)
Feb 15th, 2003, Toronto
THOUSANDS TAKE TO THE STREETS IN TORONTO – NO SLOTHS INJURED
Despite the cold, the mercury rose another degree in the inspiring anti-war movement in Canada today, as tens of thousands of marchers assembled in and around Dundas Square to oppose the Empire’s latest war offensive. Numerous motorists honked horns in support as they passed, pedestrians gave peace signs, pigeons crapped on things. After the speakers finished, marchers decided that, in the face of unconscionable destruction being inflicted with the full complicity of their government, they must take their message of peace to the centre of their city, and peacefully aid in slowing the war machine.
Despite helpful police officers and their enlisted marshals informing those present how they wanted to express their feelings, people elected trust themselves. The combined pressures of the war and people’s need to celebrate the peace in their spirits drove marchers up Yonge Street in an impromptu street festival and unmistakable message to the government and its corporate handlers.
Field reporters spoke of record numbers of people realizing their own potential for freedom and creativity, and gaining new insights in to what is lacking from a war-centred urban landscape. At the time this went to print, no reports of injuries to sloths of any sort had been received. No other marsupials could be reached for comment.
SCATTERED REPORTS OF DATED POP-CULTURE REFERENCES
When asked why he chose to pass on the permitted route arranged by police, which would have provided ample empty sidewalks for marchers’ chants to bounce off of, one participant replied, “Permits? We don’t need no stinkin’ permits!” and then laughed as if to indicate that his reference to Blazing Saddles was somehow original.
A nearby reveller elaborated: “We in Canada have the privilege to not live under looming war like those in Iraq, and we have the added privilege of not living in the country pushing its people towards the war. I felt it was the least I could do to actually exercise that privilege in some small way.”
Another participant seemed eager to make the connections between her act and the coming war, in a surprisingly polished polemic. “The war is a war for oil – so how does it make sense to defer to oil-guzzling cars? Anyway, they’re our streets! I mean, this war’s part of the long-standing war on freedom, both in Iraq and in the countries where dissent is being consistently squeezed out. How can we oppose the tyranny of war if we can’t even bring ourselves to celebrate life on our own occupied streets?”
Beloved wisecracking webslinger Spiderman was also in attendance, presumably smiling under his mask as he reminded us of his coda, “With great power comes great responsibility!”
MARSHALS SURPRISED TO FIND SOCIETY STILL INTACT
Meanwhile, in another section of the rally, Marshals were witnessed tearing off their armbands and removing their dayglo vests (illegal in two provinces and one territory), after coming to the conclusion that people aren’t universally stupid.
“I looked around me, and all I could see was cops,” remarked one ex-conscript. “I realized that I was actually helping the police do their job of governing people’s desires. It dawned on me that the people I was helping corral weren’t sheep, and were perfectly able to decide on their own what they were and weren’t comfortable doing.”
His friend related a similar experience: “I was a bit nervous at first when I took off the armband, and ducked down and covered my ears in case something exploded. But when I opened my eyes, everyone was still there, enjoying themselves. There were no fights or anything.”
ANARCHISTS DISAPPOINTED TO FIND SOCIETY STILL INTACT
The rally also included many anarchists, who share a philosophy of peaceful co-existence based on mutual aid, conscious autonomy, and the lack of arbitrary power structures. One of the markedly sexy autonomists remarked pensively, “I was a bit disappointed that we didn’t go a few steps further and kick all the bureaucrats out, help the workers take back the factories and turn them into creation centres for a sustainable peace-focused economy, stop the war on the poor and the biosphere, liberate our desires, and generally reclaim our heritage as vibrant beings on a living planet. But this is fun too, and what better place to make more links between communities?”
He was later seen dispensing both political literature and free food with fellow Food Not Bombs members when many marchers paused for a street festival outside of a McDonald’s.
ONE ISOLATED ARREST – LEGAL SUPPORT IN PLACE – OFFICER DISPLAYS UNCHARACTERISTIC POLITENESS
One anarchist was later arrested for her part in peacefully removing a token police barricade which obstructed people’s democratic dissent. No further arrests were made – when asked why, an officer remarked, “What are you, stupid? No one else did anything. We’re not going to start a fight with 30,000 peaceful people when there are kids here! Now get out of my face, hippie.”
The organizers of the march were quick to assert that money would go towards bail for the arrestee, since that amount would be a mere drop in the bucket of their budget (which is rumoured to be in the thousands). “Besides,” remarked one organizer. “War destroys communities. That means we have to act like one. And just because we made the posters and booked the speakers doesn’t mean we have any ownership of public space,” he said, pausing to laugh vigorously at the sheer absurdity of the idea. “People need to express themselves.”
ANTI-WAR RHETORIC DISCOVERED AT END OF FICTITIOUS REPORT
Canada is the United States’ primary trading partner, and its second largest source of oil. It is also one of the largest markets for hundreds of American corporations. A huge portion of these revenues and resources make their way, either directly or indirectly, to the Pentagon and other parts of the American war machine, especially in the case of consumer-product companies that also manufacture weapons of mass destruction (home appliance companies General Electric and Honeywell are just two in a long list).
And even if the profits do not end up in the coffers of warmakers, the staggering amounts of oil required to fuel the globalized economy that brings us these products and runs the cars we take to the mall is helping create the thirst for oil that is driving the U$ to murder thousands of innocents in Iraq.
This is not a war between nations – it is a war of the rich and powerful on the poor and underprivileged. War also serves to distract from workers’ struggles – with autonomy, workers could put their labour towards enriching society, rather than having it robbed from them for the purpose of destroying the lives of workers in other countries.
A society geared towards consumption and war such as ours also relies on its citizens deactivating their imaginations. We must play our part to end these atrocities, and dissolve society’s stranglehold on freedom and community so they can never happen again.