Having Trouble with the Livin'? (Was: Vanishing...)

Kelley the-squeeze at pulpculture.org
Sun Feb 9 11:42:29 PST 2003


At 12:36 PM 2/9/03 -0600, Carrol Cox wrote:
>Cox: Even communists have a right to some fun.
>Carrol

you took it awfully seriously! From Beetlejuice, my son's favorite flick when he was a six:

Betelgeuse: (ommercial advertising his services as a Bio-Exorcist)

Heehoo! Havin' trouble with the livin'?

You tired of havin' your home space violated? Wanna get rid of them

pesky livin critters once and for all? Well come on down and see me

folks, I'm the afterlife's leading bio-exorcist. Yes siree! So come

on down, and I'll tell ya, I'll do anything. I'll scare 'em real bad.

Hell, I'll even possess myself! (falls on ground and starts to shake

as if he's possessed)

Ow! (gets back up) I got demons runnin' all through me, all through

me, come on down and see it. <...>

(sings and dances) I'll eat anything you want me to eat and I'll

swallow anything you want me to swallow. (stops dancing)

So come down and I'll chew on a dog. WeeeeeHooooo!

Adam, interviewing Betelgeuse for the position of bio-exorcist:

What are your qualifications (for exorcising people)?

Betelgeuse:

Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the

Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived

through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that.

I've seen the Exorcist about a hundred and sixty-seven times,

and it keeps getting funnier every single time i see it... not

to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy... now what

do you think?!? You think I'm qualified?

From the Film Beetlejuice.

Kelley



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