<HTML>This came from my aunt; I did not track its source beyond that. It made me laugh very hard. Enjoy. DoreneC Subject: Fw: How big is your army     Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade        next when his telephone rang.        "Hello, Mr. Hussein!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy        down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to        inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"        "Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important news! How        big is your army?"        "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is        myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire        dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"        Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men        in my army waiting to move on my command."        "Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough,        the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on!        We have! managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"        "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.        "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."        Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and        14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to        1-1/2 million since we last spoke."        "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."        Once again, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is        still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified        Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and        four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"        Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must        tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter        planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided,        surface-to -air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've        increased my army to TWO MILLION!"        "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."        Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin',        Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the        war."     "I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of        heart?"        "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a few pints, and        decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."        God Bless the Irish! >> </HTML>