[lbo-talk] RE: Gender diversity

[joanna bujes]

You say the bois aren't acting out a script. I can only judge by the few 
articles I've read,  and the people quoted seem to be reading from the 
same junior high school rap script that my son was reading for a 
while...until he grew up a bit. Also, I think when people chop their 
breasts off, they're definitely following a script. I've had a lot of 
relations with a lot of lesbians (though only had sex with straight 
women) -- some of them behave in ways as stereotyped as any het folks I 
know. In fact, the most boring wedding I ever attended was a lesbian 
wedding, with a very femme bride and a very butch groom. Snore! On the 
other hand, the current lez look at the local women's college where I go 
to swim is HOT: trim, cute, hair almost buzzed off -- and that 
androgynous thing that I find so sexy in women. Still seems like a 
uniform though.

Is the greater fluidity of femal sexuality natural? I don't think so; 
it's just more accepted in this society. A girl can be a tomboy pretty 
much forever without any special meaning being attached to it. A guy has 
to stop doing "girlish" things at about six. That's got to be tough on 
the little guys. My poor son lived for his ballet class, then he found 
out "boys don't do that" and he quit immediately.

You say we have to categorize...I think so far that's our biggest 
disagreement. Haven't you ever noticed the extraordinary joy you feel 
when you are able to perceive the "newness" and uniqueness of someone? 
--- when precisely you can't put them in any box whatsoever?

As for Justin's remark and whether or not it was flattering and what 
that had to do with objectification and the Sex and the City stuff, I'm 
sorry, but I couldn't follow your argument. But I'm writing this, 
dripping with sweat, having just returned from my belly dance class. 
I've studied belly dance for fifteen years and I'm good enough to 
perform in public -- though I rarely do. Now when I do this type of 
dance, I'm perfectly aware of the fact that a lot of men and women react 
to it the way they react to a stripper or a lap dancer (with lascivious 
contempt); but not everyone reacts this way. When I dance, I can only 
imagine dancing for people who understand that this dance, while 
sexual/sensual and all that, is also beautiful and that I'm dancing it 
to bring out this beauty and to make them catch their breath...and be 
surprised by its beauty. Am I flattered by those who understand the 
dance and react in this way? No, I'm gratified and I feel that, yes, all 
this hard work has enabled me to give this gift.

Thanks for writing,

Joanna