Lowdown Lloyd Grove
GOP itchin' for a Mike fight
'Fahrenheit 9/11" director Michael Moore - a virulent enemy of President Bush - has been hired by USA Today to write four opinion columns during the Republican Convention.
Word is that party officials aren't happy that the pugnacious Moore - wearing the credentials of a legitimate journalist - will be the skunk at their garden party next week, traipsing around Madison Square Garden and maybe even causing trouble.
But get a load of what some of the delegates have to say:
Alabama delegate Terry Butts: "I'm from South Alabama, and we're used to dealing with jackasses, and so I look forward to making his acquaintance. In Alabama, there are probably a few good ol' boys who would know how to put a good knot on his head."
Louisiana delegate Carey Holliday: "I would be delighted if he slapped me. Because then I could defend myself. And it would all be on camera. He'd be hit from so many angles - he'd never even catch me. Four hundred-pounders move very slowly and with no wind at all. I'm 53 and in good shape."
Alabama delegate Rick Sellers: "I think I'm going to contact the officials with the convention and have his media tag pulled. This is ridiculous!"
North Carolina delegate Jim Cain: "The bomb squads and drug-sniffing dogs should give him a thorough once-over before letting him into Madison Square Garden."
Nebraska delegate Rod Krogh: "I doubt he's going to want to provoke people - I would assume he's a better judge of his body than that. I'm 6-foot-2 and 175 pounds. If we went to the mat, that's one match that I know my limits."
South Dakota delegate John Teupel: "If he's going to show up at the GOP convention, hopefully he has the sense and tact to act like a civilized human being. If he wants to get in my face, I'm plenty capable of getting back in his."
Mississippi delegate Field Bryant: "I was a deputy sheriff for five years, and I've dealt with a lot of people who have that mindset. But if he listens with his heart and his mind, he'll come out of there a changed man. Lord knows he needs some redemption."
Moore's spokesman, Mark Benoit, told Lowdown yesterday: "I think these people are speaking out of bravado....I think cooler heads will prevail. Once people talk to him, he's an intelligent, likable guy. I think anyone who's said those things, after spending five minutes with him, would come away with a different impression."