>> Save The Bonobo! <<
Randy fuck-monkeys face doom
St Augustine claimed that humans were the only
animals who had sex for pleasure. But he didn't
know about the randy pygmy chimpanzees known
as Bonobos. Much like members of Blue, Bonobos
have sex to alleviate tension, solve arguments,
or simply celebrate a good meal. (The average
copulation lasts 13 seconds). It's not all
straight sex, either. There are gay and lesbian
bonobos (practicing "penis-fencing" and
"genito-genital frotting", respectively). Also,
much like Michael Jackson, the Bonobos enjoy
sex with their young.
Sadly, only 10,000 of the little fuckers are left
in the Congo, and they are now in danger of
extinction. Bonobos are, genetically, humankind's
closest relative: they share 98.5 percent of our
DNA. So in the spirit of kinship, we should help
our fuck-monkey cousins. Email hello at popbitch.com
if you are willing to adopt a bonobo. (btw you
will have to have sex with it. They like to do
this every 90 minutes. On the plus side, it only
lasts for 13 seconds).