[lbo-talk] Bachelors, Divorcees, & Frumpy Wives (Kerry: America First!)

Jon Johanning jjohanning at igc.org
Sat Feb 7 10:38:34 PST 2004


On Friday, February 6, 2004, at 01:51 PM, Yoshie Furuhashi wrote:


> Dennis Kucinich has been divorced twice

So what's wrong with divorce? I've only done it once (no plans to repeat), but I really don't understand why Americans divorce so much and yet object to it in a candidate. Well, yes I do -- they feel that a president has to represent all the ideal god-like qualities they lack in their lives. As far as family life is concerned, I think this goes all the way back to the ancient notion that kings had to provide a conduit between the energies of the gods and the crops of their countries' farmlands. That is, a good king's chief duty was to keep the harvests abundant by providing a clear channel from the gods to earth.

The modern equivalent is: a president who has an intact family and whose sperm has adequately fertilized a good little wife will keep that GNP right up there. That was what horrified so many people about Clinton's escapade: by spilling his seed with that Monica chippie, he threatened the well-being of the entire economy. The Shrub, on the other hand, combines the appeal of a reformed drunk who has accepted Christ as his personal savior (under the influence of his good little demure wife) with that remaining trace of a frat-boy glint in his eye that suggests that he's still pretty potent.

By these standards, Kerry looks pretty presidential to me, but does he actually have any kids? I haven't seen evidence of them. If not, that could be disturbing evidence of a lack of fertility. (Actually, what sells me on him is that he shares his hobby of playing classical guitar with me).

Jon Johanning // jjohanning at igc.org __________________________________ When I was a little boy, I had but a little wit, 'Tis a long time ago, and I have no more yet; Nor ever ever shall, until that I die, For the longer I live the more fool am I. -- Wit and Mirth, an Antidote against Melancholy (1684)



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