HEFNER'S SECRET LUST: JELL-O
IT'S meant to be a treasury of advice and wisdom from the greatest living symbol of hedonism - Hugh Hefner - but "Hef's Little Black Book" comes off as a guidebook to arrested development.
The book, written with author Bill Zehme, details how Hefner's life is a pre-adolescent's dream of comfort food and video games - with wonderment and no cynicism.
"He is truly touched by little things that remind him of his boyhood backyard - ants and butterflies and crickets," Zehme wrote, "and then he gets to go upstairs to see naked women waiting for him."
The book, due in May from HarperCollins, includes the following gems:
* Hef learned his romantic moves from leading men Cary Grant, William Powell and Fred Astaire. Humphrey Bogart demonstrated that being a wry rogue was not a bad thing.
* Even Hef knows heartbreak. "We've all been there," Hef said. "We've all had our punches in the gut." And he fancies himself as the Rick Blaine character in his favorite film, "Casablanca," waiting in Paris for Ilsa Lund, who never comes.
* Hef's music to woo by is strictly old school and include Chet Baker's "Let's Get Lost," Errol Garner's "Misty," and "Is That All There Is?" by Peggy Lee.
* As recently as August 2002, Hef served Jell-O shots at his Mansion parties.
* Pepsi rules. "He is a Pepsi generation unto himself," Zehme wrote. "If he was seen without a Pepsi in his hand, they were to immediately fill that hand with a Pepsi bottle. There was a time when Coca-Cola was all but banned from his premises."
* Fried chicken occupies a special place in Hef's heart. He needs three drumsticks and it must have a dark crust on the outside, be tender, well-cooked and be accompanied by gravy that is "fairly thick tan to light brown in color," Zehme wrote.
He also loves Wonder Bread, but "only slices pulled from fresh unopened packs."
* He's a game player. "I played Pac-Man so obsessively that I got bursitis and had to start wearing a glove during the games," he said. And he's been known to play "40-hour Pepsi-fueled, Dexedrine-enhanced backgammon or Monopoly marathons."