A POTENT CHALLENGE TO PETA
REAL men who eat meat are disputing the bogus claim of animal rights activists that a diet of burgers and bacon causes impotence.
The quiche-eaters at PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) hope to air a commerical during the Super Bowl which shows a pizza boy delivering a pie with "extra sausage" who fails to please two comely customers.
After the curvy cuties drag him down behind a couch, one of them whines, "What happened to the extra sausage?"
CBS has already refused to run the ad on grounds that the issue is too controversial, but a PETA rep tells us the animal zealots are hoping to place it with local stations.
Meanwhile, virile carnivores say the commercial should be scrapped simply because it's just plain wrong. Best-selling author P.J. O'Rourke tells PAGE SIX's Ian Spiegelman: "I've been on a completely vegetarian diet for three days - nothing but scotch and water. And I don't think I could perform at all sexually. We should learn something from this."
Chef Anthony Bourdain, who serves up some of the best steak in town at Les Halles, points out that mankind, now numbering 6 billion, has been eating meat since the Cro-Magnon age.
"Civilization seems to have been doing OK in that department for centuries, so what's the problem?" Bourdain said.
Dr. Lawrence McGuire, associate director of urology at Maimonides Medical Center, notes that eating red meat excessively can eventually lead to a host of medical conditions, especially clogged arteries.
However, said McGuire, "[PETA] didn't do any study, nor is there any study, that says if you eat a lot of red meat, you're not going to get an erection."
In other words, eating too much meat might cut a few years off your life through heart disease, but it won't cause erectile dysfunction while you are still breathing.
We tried for three days to reach Ted Nugent, the meat-loving rocker who is better known now for his love of bow-hunting than for "Cat Scratch Fever." But Nugent, who lives in Michigan, was too busy, his assistant said. He was probably out in the woods with his bow and arrow popping Viagra. Real men talk to reporters.