[lbo-talk] Sexuality Under Seige or So What Else is New?

snit snat snitilicious at tampabay.rr.com
Fri Jul 30 07:19:35 PDT 2004


At 09:55 AM 7/30/2004, Charles Brown wrote:


>From: "Brian Charles Dauth"
>
>
>I agree sex talk should be examined (whether it comes from men or women),
>but I do not think that "dick" or "pussy" are obscenities across the board.
>
>^^^^^
> The idea, from a left standpoint, is that _men's_ talk can be sexist;
>women's talk cannot be sexist, in general. It's not "symetrical".

huh? That's a new one on me. We live in an oppressive society and that means that even the oppressed articulate the vocabulary of oppression.

Jenny pointed out not too long ago that she is often given a jiggler when she participates in discussion lists like this. Yoshie was recently called a man on the list. I've often found myself with a jiggler, but when I peek inside my underwear, I do not see one!

Jenny's point was that, even though she has an obviously female name, people will still believe she's a man, probably because they either expect that she must be since 95% of the list is composed of men (at least participants with male from names) OR because the way she writes and engages in argument is read as male. Both men _and_ women have called me a man. Both men and women have insisted I'm aggressive and that I argue like a man.

I fail to see how that translates into the notion that only men can be engaged in sexist speech/behaviors/attitudes.

To take another example. In spite of my feminism, I once caught myself saying, "My husband's baby sitting tonight, that's why I don't have the sonshine with me" when someone asked why I was toting my kid with me to a meeting.

To take yet another, the overwhelming tendency for people to believe that, if they visit someone's home and it's a mess, that it must be the woman who's a slob.

My husband wasn't babysitting. He was parenting; he was being a father. A couple's messy home isn't the responsibility of the woman in the couple, but both of their responsibility. Even a feminist consciousness can't always fight these deeply ingrained habits of thought. Simply being a woman doesn't mean I'm incapable of thinking them, either.

Kelley

"We're in a fucking stagmire."

--Little Carmine, 'The Sopranos'



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