At 02:17 PM 7/30/2004, Chuck Grimes wrote:
>``It wasn't the words, it was the tone and imagery that
>bothered....Chuck Grimes' personal issues with women and his barely
>concealed hostility toward them as a group because of his particular
>experiences just doesn't register..'' Kelley
>
>------------
>
>This is interesting. I don't think I've ever written anything about
>women that was hostile to women as a class. I usually don't write
>about women at all, and the posts in question were no exception. I was
>writing about men.
>
>So, I had to reflect on what the various threads that have come
>spinning off of my rant against Rightwing masculinity were really
>about.
>
>Why was Carrol so worked up? Why did Chip breeze in out of the blue?
>What got Kelley started? I thought I was actually channelling some of
>Kelley's dick-o-meter rants. My attack on a certain kind of
>masculinity that I see celebrated by the Right---which is what I
>thought I was doing shouldn't offend women and certainly wasn't gay
>bashing. It should have sounded like the opposite of either one. So,
>what's this about?
>
>But it was the above quote that made it click. Kelley and I have done
>our rounds together, but the issues have almost always had to do with
>men, not women. I half remember once something Kelley wrote about her
>step-mother and violence. That was the key. The issue is violence, not
>gender. Kelley's problem with me isn't my hostility toward women. It's
>my hostility period.
>
>That's what is going on here. Aggression and violence. That's the real
>issue, and the real dynamic. That's what got Carrol, Chip, and Kelley
>going.
>
>And it's true. I am a violent person. In fact, I had to quit my job
>two months ago because I was feeling the need to beat the shit out of
>a former work buddy. Well, give it a good try anyway. He had about
>about half a foot and maybe ninety pounds on me. He had turned into
>the shop bully and I wasn't going to take any shit from him. It was
>getting serious. He had been pushing everybody in the shop around for
>months, and then he started in on me. The last day I worked, I came
>within a hair of swinging on him. I threw a leg rest at his work bench
>instead. He had tuned me up good. So I quit.
>
>I live in a violent world. I always have, except for a few years in
>nice, nice middle class and college. Working in shops and in places
>like Oakland puts the edge on. It is almost impossible to get out of a
>truck and knock on a door without keeping that edge ready. It's always
>there and it doesn't go away when I get home. It has to be constantly
>controlled in all kinds of strange games with other men and authority,
>especially cops. Cops live for this kind of thing.
>
>I am not sure why my visceral hatred of the Right, just about
>everybody in the current US government, or on the news should bother
>Carrol, Chip or Kelley, but it does. I guess, it's like living next
>door to a violent criminal. You never know when the crazy asshole will
>jump the fence and start pounding on your door. What can I say? This
>is e-mail. You're all safe. I know who my enemies are and none of you
>are anything like them. I consider you all e-mail friends. People I
>like to read and occasionally argue with.
>
>Still there is room for doubt. I admire some of the terrorists. I
>admired the tough, skinny, rag covered guys in Afghanistan, with that
>burning eyed look. That's a scary look. That's something wild. Maybe
>its just some nutritional deficiency. Whatever it is, it's scary.
>
>I knew from mountain experience, US troops could never go after these
>guys and get them on foot. You can't air drop on a mountain over
>twelve thousand feet and start running and fighting. So they bombed
>them instead.
>
>Anyway I admire the Iraqis, especially the back yard mechanics who
>support the fight. Half of Baghdad must be back yard mechanics. I
>cheer every time I see a Humvee or an SUV burn. They positively exude
>smug authority, empire, oppression, bullies. They are begging to get
>torched.
>
>I hate the US military, I hate the cops.
>
>I rise to the bait every time. Wave a smug authoritarian bully in front
>of me, and I get an adrenaline rush.
>
>It's physiological so it isn't courage. I can feel it in my armpits,
>my crouch, and especially my wrists. Fight or flight. So, yes my
>politics are hard wired to my dick. Truthfully I don't know why this
>works the way it does, but it's there.
>
>So, let's talk about violence and authority. Okay, gender is in there
>somewhere. Only from my perspective it has nothing to do with
>women. It is somehow the opposite of anything to do with women. My
>provisional theory is Carrol, Chip and Kelley were feeling some splash
>over or something like it. That was not the intention, so I apologize. I
>am sorry. Perhaps this isn't the place to vent against the Rightwing.
>
>Charles wrote something about male supremacy. Maybe that's it. Except
>my adrenaline wiring says, kill the Alpha male. GWB and the Right are
>smug authoritarian, imperialistic, oppressive, bullies....all alpha
>male characters who drive Humvees and SUVS...ergo...my physiology says
>kill them all.
>
>
>CG
>
>
>___________________________________
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"We're in a fucking stagmire."
--Little Carmine, 'The Sopranos'