[lbo-talk] Divorce: It's a Red State Thing

[dano]

At 6:32 PM -0700 6/18/04, Michael  Pugliese wrote:
>>http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
>
>>...Divorce rates among conservative Christians were much higher 
>>than for other faith groups.
>
>George Barna, president and founder of Barna Research Group, 
>commented: "While it may be alarming to discover that born again 
>Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that 
>pattern has been in place for quite some time. Even more disturbing, 
>perhaps, is that when those individuals experience a divorce many of 
>them feel their community of faith provides rejection rather than 
>support and healing. But the research also raises questions 
>regarding the effectiveness of how churches minister to families. 
>The ultimate responsibility for a marriage belongs to the husband 
>and wife, but the high incidence of divorce within the Christian 
>community challenges the idea that churches provide truly practical 
>and life-changing support for marriages."
>
>According to the Dallas Morning News, a Dallas TX newspaper, the 
>national study "raised eyebrows, sowed confusion, [and] even brought 
>on a little holy anger." This caused  George Barna to write a letter 
>to his supporters, saying that he is standing by his data, even 
>though it is upsetting. He said that "We rarely find substantial 
>differences" between the moral behavior of Christians and 
>non-Christians. Barna Project Director Meg Flammang said: "We would 
>love to be able to report that Christians are living very distinct 
>lives and impacting the community, but ... in the area of divorce 
>rates they continue to be the same."
>
>The survey has come under some criticism:
>
>David Popenoe, co-director of the National Marriage Project at 
>Rutgers University has said that the survey doesn't make sense. He 
>based this belief on his assessment that Christians follow biblical 
>models of the family, making a bond that "the secular world doesn't 
>have...It just stands to reason that the bond of religion is 
>protective of marriage, and I believe it is."
>
>Tom Ellis of the Southern Baptist Convention suggests that the Barna 
>poll is inaccurate because the people contacted may have called 
>themselves born-again Christians, without having previously made a 
>real commitment to God. He said: "We believe that there is something 
>more to being a Christian...Just saying you are Christian is not 
>going to guarantee that your marriage is going to stay together." 9

Moral Superiority (ill-founded though it may be) is one thing the 
born-again community has a lot of.

Their bible teachings and mutual reinforcements assure them that they 
are morally superior *and* that they should (will?) have morally 
superior and long term marriages.

I'm not surprised at this poll's findings either.

They are not prepared for the possibility of friction or disagreement 
or larger issues. They have a very idealized vision of marriage, 
which is shaped by the politico-religious teachings they are 
subjected to and reinforce each other with. (And Christians too have 
lots of extramarital affairs - they just don't admit it to themselves 
or others.) Because they are very unprepared for the possibility of 
having to work out problems they are as unsuccessful at it as 
anybody, and maybe worse. Further, seeking counsel is a sign of 
Christian failure - as opposed to a sign of the human condition which 
non-Christians are wont to "believe". And they usually seek counsel 
from other Christians who may have no more preparation for marriage 
counseling than the local bartender. The advice they receive is often 
of the fairly useless "trust in the Lord and listen to what he tells 
you" type, as opposed to the bartender who may have more practical 
and pragmatic advice.