[lbo-talk] Don't Mess With Mom

Charles Brown cbrown at michiganlegal.org
Wed Jun 23 11:20:57 PDT 2004


Don't Mess With Mom


>


> My son came home from school one day,


> with a smirk upon his face.


> He decided he was smart enough,


> to put me in my place.


>


> "Guess what I learned in Civics Two,


> that's taught by Mr. Wright?


> It's all about the laws today,


> The "Children's Bill of Rights."


>


> It says I need not clean my room,


> don't have to cut my hair.


> No one can tell me what to think,


> or speak, or what to wear.


>


> I have freedom from religion,


> and regardless what you say,


> I don't have to bow my head,


> and I sure don't have to pray.


>


> I can wear earrings if I want,


> And pierce my tongue and nose.


> I can read and watch just what I like,


> and get tattoos from head to toes.


>


> And if you ever spank me,


> I'll charge you with a crime.


> I'll back up all my charges,


> with the marks on my behind.


>


> Don't you ever touch me,


> My body's only for my use,


> not for your hugs and kisses,


> that's just more child abuse.


>


> Don't preach about your morals,


> like your Mama did to you.


> That's nothing more than mind control,


> And it's illegal too!


>


> Mom, I have these children's rights,


> so you can't influence me,


> or I'll call Children's Services Division,


> better known as C. S. D.


>


> Of course my first instinct was


> To toss him out the door.


> But the chance to teach him a lesson


> made me think a little more.


>


> I mulled it over carefully,


> I couldn't let this go.


> A smile crept upon my face,


> he's messing with a pro.


>


> The next day I took him shopping


> at the local Goodwill Store.


> I told him,"Pick out all you want,


> there's shirts and pants galore.


> I've called and checked with C. S. D.


> who said they didn't care


> if I bought you K-Mart shoes


> instead of those Nike Airs.


>


> And I've canceled that appointment


> to take your driver's test.


> The C. S. D. is unconcerned


> so I'll decide what's best.


>


> I said "No time to stop and eat,


> or pick up stuff to munch.


> And tomorrow you can start to learn


> to make your own sack lunch."


>


> Just save the raging appetite,


> and wait till dinner time.


> We're having liver and onions,


> a favorite dish of mine.


>


> He asked, "Can I please rent a movie,


> to watch on my VCR?"


> "Sorry, but I sold your TV,


> to put new tires on my car."


>


> I also rented out your room,


> you'll take the couch instead.


> All the C. S. D. requires is


> a roof for over your head.


>


> Your clothing won't be trendy now,


> and I'll choose what we eat.


> That allowance that you used to get,


> will buy me something neat.


>


> I'm selling off your Jet Ski,


> dirt bike and roller blades.


> Check out the "Parents Bill of Rights,"


> It's in effect today!


>


> Hey hot shot, are you crying,


> and why are you on your knees?


> Are you asking God to help you out,


> instead of C. S. D.?


>


> Send to all people that have kids or have already

raised

kids


> ... I love this one!!!

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