--Do you need to know whether the end of known civilization is near?
--Are you looking for a way to plan your day in case of Rapture?
--Maybe you just wanna make sure you know when to bring soap-on-a-rope to the gym...
Have we got a tool for you'
Try our color-coded Homo Security Alert System. We'll keep you on top of the Homosexshule Threat. It's a great way to plan your day!