[lbo-talk] JFK's Secret Strategy revealed

Shane Mage shmage at pipeline.com
Sat Mar 27 17:52:35 PST 2004


The STRATWHOR INTELLIGENCE BRIEF has revealed Dumbocratic presidential candidate John F Kerry's four-step plan to take over the White House:

1.) Change his name to John F Kerredy and his campaign slogan

from "The Real Deal" to "JFK-The Real Second Coming," and

nominate Senator John McCain as his Vice-President.

2.) Make an all-out effort to convince Republicon voters-but

not too many of them--that A VOTE FOR NADER IS A VOTE FOR

BUSH (if this strategy is too successful, switch to an effort

to persuade Nader voters that A VOTE FOR BUSH IS A VOTE

FOR NADER).

3.) Attack Bush for not making enough efforts to overthrow

Venezuela's Marxist president Hugo Chavez.

4.) The October Surprise to end all Surprises, Operation CRapture.

On Halloween 2004 a secret Dumbocratic agent, pissed at

having His name repeatedly disclosed in vain by Republicons,

is to translate the US Supreme Court, all Bushit electoral-college

candidates, and all born-again Politicians to a specially

prepared Darkside location in the Sea of Hypocrity known

as Camp X-Rated (V, L, no S).

but STRATWHOR has also learned that Republicon strategist Karl Rove has formulated the following counter-strategy:

1.) Dump Chaney and nominate Rudolf Giuliani for the Vice-Presidency.

2.) Make an all-out effort to convince Dumbocratic voters--but

not too many of them--that A VOTE FOR NADER IS A VOTE FOR

KERREDY (if this strategy is too successful, switch to an effort

to persuade Nader voters that A VOTE FOR KERREDY IS A VOTE

FOR NADER).

3.) Promise to extend Plan Colombia to Venezuela.

4.) Replace Kerredy's Secret-Service bodyguards with a new

elite force drawn from the Dallas Police Department.

STRATWHOR'S ANALYSIS:

Since it is overwhelmingly likely that the Electoral College will be unable to elect a president, or even to convene, the election will be decided by the House of Representatives which, as usual, will vote with virtual unanimity to elect ARIEL SHARON as the 44th President of the USA.



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