1.) Change his name to John F Kerredy and his campaign slogan
from "The Real Deal" to "JFK-The Real Second Coming," and
nominate Senator John McCain as his Vice-President.
2.) Make an all-out effort to convince Republicon voters-but
not too many of them--that A VOTE FOR NADER IS A VOTE FOR
BUSH (if this strategy is too successful, switch to an effort
to persuade Nader voters that A VOTE FOR BUSH IS A VOTE
FOR NADER).
3.) Attack Bush for not making enough efforts to overthrow
Venezuela's Marxist president Hugo Chavez.
4.) The October Surprise to end all Surprises, Operation CRapture.
On Halloween 2004 a secret Dumbocratic agent, pissed at
having His name repeatedly disclosed in vain by Republicons,
is to translate the US Supreme Court, all Bushit electoral-college
candidates, and all born-again Politicians to a specially
prepared Darkside location in the Sea of Hypocrity known
as Camp X-Rated (V, L, no S).
but STRATWHOR has also learned that Republicon strategist Karl Rove has formulated the following counter-strategy:
1.) Dump Chaney and nominate Rudolf Giuliani for the Vice-Presidency.
2.) Make an all-out effort to convince Dumbocratic voters--but
not too many of them--that A VOTE FOR NADER IS A VOTE FOR
KERREDY (if this strategy is too successful, switch to an effort
to persuade Nader voters that A VOTE FOR KERREDY IS A VOTE
FOR NADER).
3.) Promise to extend Plan Colombia to Venezuela.
4.) Replace Kerredy's Secret-Service bodyguards with a new
elite force drawn from the Dallas Police Department.
STRATWHOR'S ANALYSIS:
Since it is overwhelmingly likely that the Electoral College will be unable to elect a president, or even to convene, the election will be decided by the House of Representatives which, as usual, will vote with virtual unanimity to elect ARIEL SHARON as the 44th President of the USA.