"Well, how the hell does one go about displaying this odious behavior in a job interview?"
I tend to do very well in job interviews (better if the decision is made by one person rather than a committee). Here's what I do.
1. Arrive on time; dress well but understated; take a shower before, BUT don't act like I'm dressing for church...more like I'm to the "manor born."
2. Realize that most people don't know how to do job interviews and prepare myself to do the interview for them. I try to get as much info about what the job requires ahead of time so that I can (subtly) argue that my skills match the requirements.
3. Listen attentively, sympathetically, and calmly.
4. Prepare answers beforehand for questions like "describe your last job" -- give a succinct, entertaining, analytical (but never too critical) answer; "what did you least like about your last job?" (say something trivial; don't be too negative); "what do you see yourself doing five years from now?" (pick something that is just under what the interviewer sees themselves doing five years from now); "what kind of management style do you prefer?" (take cue from type of manager interviewer is and mirror that: if they're controlling say you like discipline, if they're artsy/fartsy, say you like laissez faire management that gives you the space to find the best solutions, etc. People don't ask these questions because they're idiots but because they don't know how to interview.
5. Don't act too enthusiastic.
6. Don't act too passive.
7. Realize that no matter who you are or what you do, there are some jobs you will never get because the interviewer will hate your guts the minute they lay eyes on you. Have a lot of fun with those.
8. Think/ponder before you answer any question to make the interviewer feel that they have really come up with a deep/good question.
9. Think of some interesting questions to ask the interviewer, because the time comes when they will ask if you have any questions. Make sure they're easy questions and relate mostly to quotidian tasks, processes, and atmosphere in the company.
10. Don't recite prepared jokes, but if it's the right kind of person, a little wit doesn't hurt.
11. Even if you're desperate, don't show it.
12. Use easy/appropriate diction and look like you're taking the trouble to find the right word. ...gives the impression that you're a thoughtful person who cares and will take the trouble...
13. Don't say you've been unemployed for the last three years; say you've been free-lancing as a web-site developer and that this has given you great insight into the web/informational needs of different kinds of clients.
Ugh. Good luck,
Joanna