MAY 24 2004
The Agenting of the Blogs: Kate Lee Will Enrichen You
Now that a couple of losers have figured out how to get paid for writing weblogs, along comes someone with a smarter scheme: how can I get 15% of that? Today's New Yorker introduces us to Kate Lee, ICM agent and blog enthusiast. Avast, bloggers! Thar be agents, ready for their percentage.
You know, the publishing industry is such a wondrous magical place -- like Disneyland, but on ecstasy! -- that of course bloggers want in...
For instance: it only takes most publishers 18 to 24 months to publish a book! They also have these innovative ideas of promotion -- for instance, as a Published Author, you might be allowed to fly yourself to Chicago and/or Miami to read to an audience of 12 or 13 people at a Barnes and Noble! And when your Kirkus and/or Publisher's Weekly reviews come out, and their wild praise contains one critical note, suddenly the PR people at your publisher are occupied with other projects -- and your $20,000 advance doesn't earn out and everyone scratches their heads in puzzlement.
It's the most retarded shell game on earth -- and the most technophobic, ass-backwards, financially-dumb-headed industry in the world. Our prediction: first blogger book: $140K advance. Second blogger book: $700K advance. Third blogger book: $15K advance. None earn out, the shark gets jumped, and then it's contract publishing gigs for all, and some God-awful ghost-writing gigs, which results in yet more bitter alcoholic blather on weblogs. Enjoy the hype, little bloggers. Take your advances and buy stock in Halliburton while you can.