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Hey Kids,
For all of you who didn't get a chance to listen to Kerry's concession speech, I took a second to transcribe it. Enjoy.
Brian.
Seriously, man? Fuck.
Christ America, I mean Jesus. Okay, well—I mean seriously? Fuck, fuckin' fuck. Fuuuuuuuh-uuuuuuuuuuh-uuuck. Okay, you know what? Whatever? Welcome to some serious fucking Orwellian-shit. Oh yeah, I forget, you don't read. You're America. Welcome to some serious Survivor-shit, I guess.
I mean fuck, America. Seriously. You just royally fucked yourself. Good luck. I mean I'm going to survive. I was in fucking 'Nam. I've looked a man in the eye, and shot him in the face, and now thanks to your once and future king George, assault weapons are now readily available, so you better watch your backs, man. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
We're not going to do a recount, but I can't promise there won't be a body count Okay, sorry. That was uncalled for. I'm not actually going to kill anybody. Shit, I mean what would the point be anyway, I mean that would be all like euthanasia anyway, cause y'alls fucked, and I mean fuh-ucked. I don't know, maybe I'll go to France. They like me over there, not like you fuckin' Travis Tritt listenin' fuckers over here.
Shit man, when I was campaigning in Ohio, and saw this bumper sticker that said, 'Kerry For President of France,' and I thought to myself, 'yeah, man, maybe I will run for the president of France.' That way I'll be able to outsource some serious whoopass to you NASCAR watchin' motherfuckers. Not you, Edwards, you're cool, Dean, you're cool, Obama, fuck yeah man. You know we tight. Fuckin' brothers from different mothers, yo. You showed their honky asses, and what was all of that 'selfish hedonist' shit, anyway, huh? Theresa, baby, I may not be home for a few days. Dash' and me are goin to a bar back in 'chusetts where everybody knows my name. To everyone else, I hope you got some accessories that go with camoflauge, 'cause y'all gonna be wearing that shit soon. Peace out, suckers. Seriously, peace-out.
"We live under the Confederacy. We're a podunk bunch of swaggering pious hicks."
--Bruce Sterling