>Cheney, off to war
>or Homer Simpson questions Steven Hawking’s intelligence
>
>by Bryan Zepp Jamieson
>09/02/04
>http://www.zeppscommentaries.com/VRWC/homer.htm
>
> Dick Cheney apparently forgot that he got five deferments during the
>Vietnam war, and eventually knocked up his wife so he wouldn’t have to
>get a sixth. He forgot that he contemptuously claimed to have more
>important priorities, like making money.
>
> This was while Kerry was getting shot at, saving lives, and
> generally
>being a hero.
>
> Now, Cheney the same Cheney who spent much of the past three years
>cowering in bunkers in undisclosed locations has declared that Kerry
>is ill-suited to lead America at these times of challenge. Folks, for
>Cheney to say Kerry is ill-suited to lead America in a time of war is
>like Homer Simpson saying that Steven Hawking is weak on math, or Peewee
>Herman saying that Randy Johnson throws like a girl.
>
> Mind you, these are the same people who stuck the simian
> commander in
>chief in a flight suit with a wildly stuffed codpiece, and paraded him
>around on the deck of an aircraft carrier so Fox News could swoon over
>what a great wartime general/philosopher the dim and befuddled Putsch was.
>
> So Cheney, who is kept artificially alive with a spark plug
> because his
>old dead heart just wants to sit and shiver like Rush Limbaugh getting a
>draft notice, wants to say that Kerry, the same age but capable of
>skiing and windsurfing, isn’t as fit to lead. Kerry should challenge
>Cheney to race up the Capitol steps.
>
> The chickenhawk brigade will live in infamy for their sheer
> audacity.
>The Smearvets, now badly discredited, continue their insane attacks.
>Never mind that the latest Smearvet, a retired and now disgraced
>Admiral, suddenly decided Kerry was lying about his war record, but
>while making this declaration, forgot to mention the $40 million in
>contracts the Putsch administration had just awarded him.
>
> At the convention, some moron passed out bandaids with purple
> hearts on
>them. The idea was to mock Kerry (they insist on pretending that Kerry
>didn’t get injured, awarded himself his medals, and was generally as
>disgraceful as a wastrel son of privilege who is unfairly given a cushy
>state-side assignment so he doesn’t have to take any real risks), but
>the upshot was that it mocked every vet that ever was injured in the
>line of duty. The uproar was so fast and vehement that Karl Rove, no
>paragon of morality and fair play but very politically astute, quickly
>ordered the bandaids out of the convention hall and disassociated the
>party from them.
>
> The GOP has been playing footwork that would make Mohammed Ali groan
>with envy in their efforts to draw a distinction between themselves and
>the dirtbags in the Smearvets, and the crasser elements in their loony
>coalition of fascists, right wing weirdos, and religious fruitloops.
>Putsch, who likes to accuse Kerry of flip-flopping, is now suddenly
>against 527s, the tax code designation given to independent political
>groups that depend on public subscriptions to push for particular causes
>or candidates. Just six months ago, when the vast majority of money was
>still going to right wing GOP 527s, Putsch described them as “American
>as anything can be.” Now that the Democrats enjoy the larger amount of
>support as a pissed off public flexes its economic muscle, he’s agin
>‘em, and wants them all banned.
>
> He couldn’t even handle a simple ramp-up interview en route to the
>convention. In response to a softball tossed underhand by an MSNBC
>reporter, asking him if the war on terror could be won, he departed from
>script and said, “No, it can’t.” His answer actually made pretty good
>sense; he was saying that this wasn’t a case of fighting another nation
>which has a discrete capital city and leadership, a visible army, one
>which can come to a peace table and formally surrender. It was a
>sensible, and for Putsch, profoundly thoughtful answer.
>
> Naturally, the GOP hated it, and the howls began immediately as
>Democrats chortled with glee at the flip-flop. So Putsch flip-flopped
>back the next day, averring that America has won, is winning, will win
>the war on terror. “America has never been safer” he said, from behind
>37,000 armed guards, tank traps, air surveillance, and First Amendment
>Zones. “This war might go on for thirty years.” But we’ve won,
>y’understand. Never doubt America.
>
> The GOP is going to need every bit of slanted news coverage and
>innuendo they can get from Aieles, Murdoch and Sun Myung Moon. “60
>Minutes” will be having Bill Barnes, the former Texas Lieutenant
>Governor who got Putsch his position in the Texas Air National Guard and
>who is now deeply ashamed that he did that. (Just imagine if, instead
>of flying over Juarez whorehouses and snorting coke, George had wound up
>shot down during a bombing mission over North Vietnam. Just imagine...)
> Bob Dole was caught on tape damning the Smearvets for their shabby
>tactics, and Bob Kerrey, co-head of the 911 Commission, demanded he be
>quoted as saying, “Fuck them” about the Smearvets.
>
> Republicans are nervous. My local state rep invented a ridiculous
>story of a demonstrator running up while they were leaving a Broadway
>theater and spitting in his wife’s face twice? Why the wife? And how
>would a demonstrator know who Sam, a freshman nobody in the state
>senate, was when a local resident like me would have trouble picking him
>out of a line up as my state senator? I got a whine from one Republican
>today because I was talking about Frances, a category 4 hurricane that
>was strengthening and (at the time) headed directly at Miami. That
>could make it the worst storm in US history. He thought I was talking
>about it to distract from the Republican convention. Nonsense. I just
>found an even bigger blowhard, is all.
>
> Outfits like Faux and Drudge and Scaife’s papers are experts at
> making
>major events unhappen while they pound away endlessly at trivia and
>outright fabrications. To this day, most people don’t realize there was
>no “Whitewater scandal” involving the Clintons, other than the fact that
>they got took. They were among the victims. There was no travelgate,
>Vince Foster did in fact commit suicide (due, in part, to the vicious
>attacks launched by the same people who tried to make political points
>on his death), and filegate was nothing.
>
> You can search in vain for stories about sex scandals involving
>prominent Republicans and Chinese spies, or complicity in a
>multi-billion dollar energy rip off, or the fact that Putsch lied us
>into an unnecessary and unjusified war. Those stories didn’t happen,
>and millions of marching morons have forgotten about them, distracted by
>the endless blare of the Smearvets and idiotic brays of “courage” from
>draft dodgers against war heroes.
>
> They say that the trouble with a Democracy is that people pretty
> much
>get the type of government they deserve.
>
> I look at the incredibly low opinion the right wing smear machine
> has
>of the American people, the endless faith they have in the people’s
>gullibility and inattention, and the serene confidence that they can
>always prevail by appealing to people’s hatred, fear, and bigotry, and
>repeating stupid lies endlessly.
>
> If their low opinion is justified, then they will finish wrapping up
>America as their own little present to themselves.
>
> And Americans will live their lives ruled by people like Dick Cheney.