[lbo-talk] Martha to surrender soon

[Carl Remick]

>From: Doug Henwood <dhenwood at panix.com>
>
>MARTHA WAITS OUT CELL CRUNCH
>
>MARTHA Stewart will surrender to start serving her five-month sentence for 
>obstruction of justice as soon as there is a vacant cell at the Danbury 
>federal prison for women, sources say, leaving her daughter Alexis, 38, to 
>oversee her company.
>
>"There is no available bed at Danbury, and hasn't been for a couple weeks," 
>said one insider. "She's just waiting."

Jesus Horatio Christ, let's get this domestic diva in the slammer already.  
The submarine service practices hot-bunking, in which alternate watches use 
the same beds at different times.  Why don't they do this at Danbury?

BTW, a more appropriate punishment for Martha would have been a sentence to 
appear on the TV show "How Clean Is Your House?"  I saw this recent UK 
import the other night, and I'm still cringing.  The show's stars, Kim 
Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie, are two UK cleaning experts who visit "the 
filthiest homes in America," analyze the problems they find and show the 
owners how to detoxify.  Woodburn is given to crawling around on all fours 
sniffing stains.  In the premier show she sniffed a stain on a couch and 
announced, "Somebody's bum has been here!"  This assignment would be perfect 
for Martha.

Carl