Tesla coils rock. You should go for it.
... except that you're a techno ostrich who couldn't handle a Tesla coil.
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Heh.
Cue ominous music.
Enter Alterna-Dwayne.
Cretins! Even now my unbeatable, really sparkly and smartly dressed Tesla Corps is being made ready to conquer your pitiful planet! Where once I was the techno ostrich, now I am the...um, something else that doesn't duck its head and ruthlessly kicks ass. Maybe a snow leopard. Yeah, that works.
...
Leigh Meyers asks:
May I use that quote? Attribution?
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Aye.
As LA's Tony Pierce says, "rock, bro rock."
.d.